


But it Could Be

by Silvertounge



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: F/M, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-30
Updated: 2015-10-06
Packaged: 2018-04-01 23:18:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 31,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4038415
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Silvertounge/pseuds/Silvertounge
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Toni's always been reluctant to let people in, but what happens when she allows Bruce to step across that line? And what will become of them when voices from the past spread doubt over Bruce's self control? Warning Female Tony.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. To Hell in a Handbasket

Toni pulled her mask off quickly, and threw it off into one of the many piles of decimated building that surrounded her. Pain laced up her side with every breath she drew, blood trickled from her side where her armor had pierced her shallowly during a fight. And if she was being totally honest with herself, it had probably pierced into her lung, or snagged itself on some other organ that she really needed to stay alive, because Murphy just couldn’t leave her alone. In short everything about this mission was going to hell in a hand basket, and she was being dragged along for the ride.

She stumbled through debris and rubble clumsily, half tripping over rocks and pieces of bent metal that were strewn across the ground. Pain throbbed along her chest, and she looked down curiously, to be greeted with the sight of a flickering, cracked arc reactor, and she had thought the day was looking up. She watched the failing reactor critically, and mentally calculated how long she had until she went into cardiac arrest and had shrapnel take out her arteries, she had an hour. And that was being generous with her calculations. She sped up as best as she could with metal slicing into her calf, and desperately tried to draw in gasping breaths through seemingly broken ribs. Blood pooled out of all the holes and cracks in her suit, staining it a sickly hue of blackening red that she, hysterically, thought looked really ugly next to the shiny gold accents.

She pulled off as much of her suit as she could with her bare hands, slicing them up in the process. As layers of metal and wire were stripped away, long shallow cuts and rapidly forming bruises were revealed to light, and now that she actually knew they were there they decide to be assholes and start hurting. She looked like some sadist’s wet dream. Bloodied fingers grabbed and slipped against the edges of metal fragments crushed into her flesh, and she somehow managed to pull the crushed metal off her leg with a strangled cry and a few choice words. Blood splattered around her and stained ruined streets. She looked around the desolate area desperate for any sign that the other avengers were somewhere nearby.

Panic bubbled in her stomach; it was thick and sickly, making her stomach heave painfully. It crawled through her veins, sluggishly oozing its way through her system, spreading its toxic fumes. She was going to die. If she didn’t find someone soon, preferably right the fuck now, she was going to fucking die. Her heart thudded frantically, and the light of her reactor flickered and dimmed tauntingly. She tried to calm herself down when she realized that her elevated blood pressure and heart rate were steadily draining the arc reactor of whatever life it still had left in it. Where the hell was Bruce and his funny heart control-ie techniques when she needed them? 

She limped along the streets quickly, mentally panicking, until she saw a hulking green shape among the rubble before her. And really it couldn’t be anything other than the obvious unless the city had ordered a really good Hulk statue. She hoped to fuck he was in a good mood, because even though she knew he’d never purposely hurt her, she’d never actually gotten that close to him to test that theory, especially without her suit. But Bruce was her science bro, and she really didn’t think that Hulk was out to destroy everything. He was like an abused kid that had never learned to trust the people around him. Toni could definitely relate to that, and it wasn’t like she had much of a choice. It was either take a chance and hope she didn’t get smashed by an angry Hulk, or have her heart pulverized by shrapnel. With those wonderfully cheerful thoughts rattling around in her head she gimped her way over to him as quickly as she could.

Hulk whirled around at her approach, fists held in the air ready to beat the living snot out of whoever was approaching. Toni slowed down a bit, okay she slowed down a lot, and held up her hands in a placating gesture, “Bruce, it’s me… Toni. I’m not gonna hurt you bro. But I really need your help Big Guy.”

He looked at her for a long moment searching her face curiously, before lowering his fists slowly, “To-ni?”

She nodded a bit frantically and pushed her bloody hair out of her face so he could recognize her better, “Yea, Toni. I need your help Big Guy.”

Hulk smiled at her as best as he could and nodded eagerly, “Hulk help To-ni.” He lumbered over to her, and sat down right in front of her. The ground under her feet shook slightly at the impact and the resulting pain sent a wave of nausea through her. She was more than ready to pass out at this point, heart be damned. He seemed so cute though, so she could hardly complain about the pain.

“I need you to rip the rest of my suit off of me, and get me back to Stark Tower.” Her lungs screamed a violent protest with every word she spoke, and her ribs ached every time she pulled in even small breaths. She rubbed her chest absently and realized that she only had about 15 minutes left to get back to the tower and fix her reactor, “Think you can do that for me Big Guy?”

Hulk seemed to think her words over, before moving closer to her and grasping her armor in his giant hands. He looked at her for a moment, like he was making sure he wasn’t doing the wrong thing, before tearing the armor off her body quickly. Toni whimpered in agony when the sharp metal was roughly pulled out of her tender sides. Blood gushed out of the reopened wounds and dripped down her side slowly. Tony pressed her fingers along each cut gently, making sure none of them were any bigger deal than slapping some gauze on it after getting pleasantly drunk.

Hulk looked at her sadly and held his hands in his hair like he expected her to beat him “Hulk no want hurt To-ni. Hulk no mean hurt To-ni.”

She looked up at him, more than a little surprised at how upset he seemed over hurting her. He didn’t have a problem bro fisting Thor in the face. She smiled reassuringly and walked closer to him carefully, “You didn’t hurt me Big Guy. Antlers did.”

“Puny God.”

Toni laughed loudly at the petulant tone of voice Hulk seemed to adopt whenever he thought about Loki. She laughed even though her ribs protested vehemently. But damn it all if Bruce couldn’t always manage to put her in a good mood. She grinned a bit and looked back up at him, “ Yes he's very Puny. Do you think you can get us home quickly?”

Hulk nodded down at her, eager to help, “Hulk fast.” He picked her up gently and cradled her against his chest softly. His skin was warm against her, and she realized just how pale and cold she was sitting right against him. His green skin was a stark contrast to her bloody pale, hands. Toni closed her eyes and though of all the wonderfully gory Christmas cards she could mail to Fury from this moment, it was that or think about how badly her chest was hurting. 

He held her close to his body as he jumped and ran at breakneck speed toward Stark Tower. His giant hand held her steadily against his chest, and kept her stable enough that she could barely feel all the jolting movements he made. After what seemed like a life time he crashed, literally, into the top floor of Stark Towers. Glass tinkled around them and sprayed out into the room, coating everything in a sharp, translucent dust.

“Jarvis!” Toni’s voice rang out weakly as Hulk set her down gingerly.

“Yes Miss Stark?”

She walked across the room quickly and pulled a safe out from a hidden compartment in the bar. She set it down on the counter with a dull thunk, and began to type a code into it quickly, “Set up a heart monitor, and x-ray my side. I think I’ve got a few angry ribs.” She pulled out the new arc reactor quickly; the polished metal was cool against her clammy skin. She set it down carefully, and ripped the shirt she had on off her chest, before sticking tiny little heart monitors across her chest carefully.

“Puny Banner worry for To-ni. Think Hulk want hurt To-ni,” she turned to face him and watched quietly as he looked at her sadly, “Hulk no want To-ni hurt. Hulk worry for tiny To-ni too.” She was taken aback by the slight fear that resounded in that deep voice. And a bit choked up by the genuine care that the Hulk expressed through his caveman like words. She’d been working with Bruce for months, and she’d come to expect it from him. But to hear it from his alter-ego? Bruce must really care about her to influence the Hulk. Or maybe Hulk was a separate entity from Bruce, and he wanted to express concern over her too. Either way, it was nice for someone to care about her.

“You want to help me right Big Guy?” she smiled when he nodded at her, “then I need you to get Bruce back out here for me.”

“To-ni no want Hulk?” his voice was so hurt, that Toni felt a bit guilty for asking him to leave, but she really didn’t think his hand was going to fit in her chest, well, it wasn’t going to fit in easily, and she really only had 4 minutes left before her heart was shredded to tiny bits.

“I do,” she tapped her arc reactor lightly, “but your hands are too big. I need Bruce to replace this for me; otherwise I’m going to die.”

Hulk gave her a frightened look, “Hulk no want To-ni gone.” With that he began to slowly shrink back into Bruce. It took a moment for him to get his bearings, and when he did he was greeted with the sight of a topless Toni standing right in front of him. He blushed slightly, and caught the glasses that were casually tossed to him. He looked up at her a bit nervously, “You sure I can replace the reactor? I’m not an engineer Toni. What if I mess it up?” He’d deal with the fact that she’d gotten waaaay too close to the Hulk later.

“I’ll lead you through it,” she began to unscrew the reactor in her chest, “pretty much all you have to do is make sure the two magnets connect, and then screw the new reactor in tightly. Also don’t let the wire touch the side, I’d say it’s a lot like operation, because it basically is operation. With me as the game board,” She handed him the reactor lightly, and pulled the old one out of her chest, carefully to keep the magnets connected.

“Why do I have to screw it back in?”

“Because I’m going to be too busy going into cardiac arrest to accurately screw the damn thing back in.”

“I suppose that’s a good enough reason,” he muttered quietly, and watched with horrified fascination as his best friend pull the reactor out of her chest with a sharp tug.

The heart monitor screeched shrilly as Toni gripped the counter tightly. She watched shakily as Bruce attached the magnets and began to screw the reactor back into her chest carefully.There was a tiny click, and her heart slowed back to a normal rhythm, instinctively realizing that the danger was over. Toni relaxed her death grip on the counter and took a few deep breaths. Pain still laced up her side, but not as sharply as before. “Jarvis, did you do the x-ray?”

“Yes Miss. Stark, you have a few cracked ribs, but thankfully nothing was broken.”

Bruce watched her warily, half waiting for her to suddenly collapse in front of him, “You alright now?” 

His voiced washed over her soothingly, and Toni relaxed slightly. She looked over at him and smiled cockily, “It’ll take more than a pair of antlers to kill me. Thanks to you and the Big Guy, I’d say crisis adverted.”

Bruce’s eyes darkened slightly when she mentioned the Hulk, and he looked at her sternly, “Toni what were you thinking? He could have easily killed you.”

Toni rolled her eyes making sure he could see and began to wrap her ribs tightly. Yeah he could have killed her, but that was all theoretical, and she took a calculated risk. Not that she was going to tell him there was like a 92% chance that Hulk wouldn’t have recognized her. An 8% chance of survival was better than zero in her book.

“Toni are you listening to me? This is serious, Hulk is dangerous and even with your suit you’re vulnerable around him.” Annoyance tinged with genuine worry rolled along with his words when he spoke, “Why would you do something so reckless?”

Toni held up a hand, “Bruce, calm your tits. I’m fine. He didn’t mind my presence and all things considered I’d say it ended pretty well. Seriously,” she pulled on a shirt and began buttoning it up deftly, “you’re over reacting, and if you keep working yourself up you’re going to go green again. He saved me, Big Green was happy, you’re back here conscious and not entirely naked, and my heart hasn’t been turned into hamburger. I’d say this has been a fairly productive day.”

“Toni this isn’t a joke,” serious brown eyes watched her accusingly, “you were badly hurt, and you couldn’t have ran if he tried to smash you. Why didn’t you have your suit on?!”

Toni shrugged nonchalantly and poured herself a few fingers of whiskey, “I had it on, but Hulk ripped it off for me.” She downed the drink quickly relishing in the burn, and the slight distraction from the annoying pains her body was throwing at her.

“He ripped it off?” Bruce echoed back horrified, “Toni have you completely lost your mind?! You had him rip off your armor! He could have easily ripped you!”

“But he didn’t Bruce,” she held up her hand again when he began to argue, and waited for him to fall silent before continuing on seriously, “Hasn’t killed me. Didn’t kill me. Didn’t try to kill me. Doesn’t seem to want to kill me. You, my science buddy, are just jealous that he got to cuddle with me the entire way here.”

Bruce clenched his jaw and mentally ran through all the advanced physics, and gamma theories he could possible think of. Everything in the world was a joke with Toni. Everything. She obviously didn’t have a self preserving bone in her body. How could she not realize how devastated he would be if he ended up killing his only friend? She was the only person who had met him knowing what he was, and treated him like a person regardless. She’d always valued his opinion and intellect, and they had quickly grown to be friends. God only knew what he would do if Toni died because of him.

Toni watched him quietly feeling little pins of guilt over having upset Bruce so badly. She tried to walk to him, but exhaustion and pain had finally bested her and her legs nearly gave out from beneath her. The definite last thing on Toni’s list for this shitty day was having to spend the rest of the day in the hospital getting shards of glass pulled out of her skin, so she settled for smiling at him and changing the topic, “Now that we’ve gotten this lovely conversation out of our system, where the fuck was everyone else?”

Bruce accepted the change of topic gracefully, but made mental notes to make sure he talked to her again about staying away from the Hulk. He really didn’t care if she was a fan of “the way he lost control and turned into a giant green rage monster.” He walked over to her carefully, avoiding the broken glass and helped support her subtly. He felt a small tinge of satisfaction when she let him help her along; if it had been anyone else she would have point blank refused their help subtle or not. “I don’t know where everyone went off to. Thor was with Steve, and Clint was fighting with Natasha. You flew off sometime during the middle, and then I lost control.”

“Alright, I guess there’s no helping that,” she leaned against his arm as little as she could manage, but finally gave in and leaned against him heavily. Even when he wasn’t hulked out, he was a lot taller than her. He felt solid and warm, supporting her like he always did, “Jarvis important things first. Get the damn wall fixed would you? Our contractors must really love me.”

“Right away Miss. Stark.”

Toni smiled a bit when she felt Bruce’s soft rumble of laughter. At least he was in a better mood now. She walked out of the bar room with him quietly, mulling over what had happened with the Hulk. Why the hell hadn’t he killed her? He’d gotten out once and tried to take out Tasha and Thor, but he hadn’t even rushed her. The worst he’d done was raise his hand and that had been a purely defensive gesture on his part.

Bruce watched Toni for a moment, knowing that pensive look on her face that signaled she was about to do something either extremely smart, or extremely stupid. And he really hoped that it wasn’t something stupid. The last time she had that look on her face they all ended up with pink hair…and a Hulk sized fist in her wall. Her limp grew more pronounced as they wandered down the hall, so he scooped her up carefully. He was amazed at how much smaller than him she was. She’d always seemed so sturdy. Maybe it was her injury, but holding her she felt so tiny.

“The hell? Bruce I can walk perfectly fine I’m not a gimp,” she flailed a bit and tried to get him to put her down to no avail. The stubborn bastard obviously wasn’t budging. 

“Toni you’re limping, you’re going to cause more damage to your leg and then you’ll be pissed at everything because Fury won’t let you play with the big kids when you’re hurt.” He smirked slightly and held her tight enough to keep her from escaping, “so play nice and maybe he’ll give you a popsicle.”

“Bastard.”

He smiled at her amused tone and looked at her innocently, “Me? Whatever gave you that idea?”


	2. Must be Some Kind of Madness

Toni holed herself up in her lab a few days after the incident. She’d been working nonstop on something, but she never would say what. She just gave a frustratingly secret smile, and told everyone that she’d have to kill them if she told them. Truthfully Toni didn’t want to tell them because…well this was special. This project was really special, and pretty new to her… at least in concept. She didn’t want anyone to find out and try to help her, because they might take the credit, and even though Toni knew that they wouldn’t, she didn’t want to take the chance. She was going to do this for Bruce, and if he liked it or not; well that would all fall on Toni, not everyone else.

She honestly had no rational idea why doing this was so fucking important, why doing things for him was so important. But Toni had been going out of her way to make Bruce more comfortable, while still trying to prod him into changing, since he’d started living in Stark Towers with the rest of the Avengers. 

She worked out blue prints carefully, going over every single detail meticulously. Nothing would be left out of her plans, hell, she’d even researched what colours she needed to use. Colours for Christ’s sake. She drew things out by hand carefully, and made notes on what materials she needed, steel was too weak, and iron might work, but probably not. She needed something stronger, something close to unbreakable. “Jarvis get online; tell me how much it would cost to get enough Adimantium to build some things.”

“Things, Miss. Stark?”

Toni looked up from her blueprints a bit groggily, she hadn’t slept a full night in a week, and it was obviously catching up to her, “Room Jarvis, how much would it cost me to line a room in Adimantium?” 

She went back to her blue prints, and rubbed her eyes when the lines started to blur and edge together, maybe she really did need to sleep. But if she slept, then this project would take that much longer. She didn’t need to sleep; sleep was for the weak.

“Miss. Stark the approximate cost of enough Adimantium to cover the desired area would come up to a sum of nearly 4.5 million dollars.”

“That’s it? I thought it would cost more,” she muttered to herself distractedly, then remembered that she’d been talking with Jarvis, “Alright Jarvis order it all, put it on the fastest shipping you can get. I want it here soon.”

Toni began to roll the blueprints up slowly, deciding to use them instead of a computer system, so she could make sure with her own hands that everything was the way she wanted it. She wasn’t going to risk a system crash (nearly impossible since she’d programmed everything) and losing all her blueprints. This level of dedication might seem odd to most people, but when Toni did something she really did it. All the whistles bangs and security she could feasibly provide, she did. She stored the prints in a safe and quickly changed the code. She’d done it every time she closed the safe for the night, nothing was going to get in there and ruin this. She was actually doing something nice and she’d be damned if anything was going to fuck this up.

She stumbled out of the lab and made her way upstairs silently, the house was completely dark and she could hear Thor snoring all the way from his room 10 floors above her. Amusement laced through her, apparently he wasn’t the god of thunder for nothing. 

The arc reactor illuminated her path faintly as she made her way to the kitchen in a zombie like fashion. She stumbled through empty hallways, marveling a bit incredulously, on how her home had come to be filled with people. Lots of people too. It was such an odd thing, and Toni didn’t particularly mind (not usually at least). Besides, if everyone left, so would Bruce, Toni’s heart thudded a bit painfully and she looked down panicked, terrified that she’d find a broken reactor again, but it glowed steadily, casting her face in an eerie blue glow.

She made her way to the kitchen and began to pull out whatever food she could find, pushing endless boxes of tea out of her way with an annoyed snarl. Who the hell drank so much plant juice? Bruce Banner, that’s who. She shook her head, and put all his teas back in order meticulously; for a guy who claimed to hate confrontation, he sure as hell could get picky about the smallest things. Such as the order of his teas for example. She’d messed them up once just to fuck with him, and then watched in amazement when he spent 45 minutes putting them back in order; muttering curses in several languages the entire time. 

Toni threw something that could passably be considered food in the microwave and stared at the clock. 1:30 A.M. was it really that early? Her stomach grumbled angrily, and her eyes focused in and out painfully. Not that she needed sleep, sleep was for the weak. If that was so, her mind chided her angrily, then she was getting weak, because her thoughts were jumbled about sluggishly, and she could barley focus on her hand. Let alone making sure the microwave didn’t somehow burn down her house, (it had only happened once).

“Toni?”

She practically jumped off the counter when his voice rang out at her. She looked over quickly, and relaxed when her eyes fell on Bruce; abet a slightly blurry Bruce, but a Bruce none the less. “What’s got you up Big Green?” Her tact reflex never worked very well on a good day; on a day without sleep? Forget it.

He gave her a funny look, and walked into the kitchen quietly, “I could ask you the same.” His eyes roved over her softly, taking in her messy hair, and the dark bags that made their happy home under her expressive eyes, “Toni…you look like hell.”

“Why thank you Bruce,” she looked at him dryly, “that is exactly what every woman wants to hear from a guy. ‘You look like hell.’ Words of poetry those.”

He smiled a bit sheepishly, then looked at her a tad sternly, “When’s the last time you slept? Or ate for that matter.”

“About 2 weeks ago,” she smiled a bit and pulled her food from the microwave quickly, before stuffing a bit in her mouth and looking at him playfully, “and now.” She laughed a bit at the annoyed expression that crossed his face, and braced herself for a health lecture. Bruce cared too much about her health for his own good.

“Toni, you need to sleep,” this wasn’t turning out to be the relaxing trip for tea he had needed. But he was glad to see Toni out of her lab, even if she did look like a zombie. He’d felt pretty lonely the past two weeks without her smart ass working with him. He’d gone so far as to try and teach Thor some basic chemistry. Toni’s contractors must really love all the holes he had put in walls for them to fix over that idea, he thought absently, before going to pull down some tea from the cupboard next to her head.

Toni watched him quietly, and was surprised to see the stain of light green against his fingers, she looked closely and she could swear she saw little flecks of electric green in those normally calm brown eyes. “You okay?” She watched him stiffen slightly, before resuming his search for tea.

“I’m fine.”

“Liar.”

They stared at each other for a few moments, both exhausted beyond all belief. Silence welled up in the air around them, and they both just continued staring at each other in the silence, each waiting for the other to speak first. Toni was more than slightly concerned by the panic that ran its way across Bruce’s face slowly. What the hell did she do to make him so upset? He’d never looked at her like that.

“Do you want me to leave Natasha?” his voice broke the silence cautiously in a hopeless whisper, he didn’t look at her, just prepared his tea with shaky hands. She had to be angry with him. She’d avoided him since the…...incident with Hulk two weeks prior, and she’d been holed up in her lab, barely talking to anyone. He was so terrified that he really had hurt her, and now she was afraid of him.

Toni looked at him for a few moments, completely taken aback by his words, and more than a little distracted by the way he said her name. No one called her Natasha. She was definitely game for trying out new things; especially with Bruce. Her mind snapped back to the topic at hand when he shuffled nervously, studiously avoiding her eyes. “Why the hell would I want you to leave?” She watched him incredulously, “What or who the hell gave you that idea?”

“Toni its fine and I understand if you don’t want me around anymore. I know I’m a liability.” He rambled on quickly, not wanting to see her face when she agreed with him. After all what else could she do? It wasn’t like he was the best houseguest in the world. She must be tired of fixing his messes, and really, she was Toni Stark. If she wanted some scientists she could have 10 of the smartest lined up to go. She didn’t really need him around. She was just, being friendly because Fury told her to. That had to be it.

Toni watched him, trying to ignore the rising panic in the pit of her stomach when he talked about leaving, was he really that miserable here? Wasn’t their friendship enough to keep him from leaving? “Bruce. I don’t… I really…,” she looked at him imploringly, “I don’t want you to leave. You’re my science bro. I mean,” She went on a bit awkwardly, “I’m not gonna make you stay here. This isn’t a cage Bruce. If you want to go you can, but I…I uh really want you to stay.” She finished a bit lamely and looked at the floor a bit embarrassed. She hated dealing with emotions. Computers were so much easier.

He nodded slightly and smiled tiredly, glad that Toni didn’t want him to leave, and that she wasn’t mad at him for whatever he had done.

They stood in silence for a few moments, but Toni had the nagging suspicion that him thinking she wanted him A.W.O.L wasn’t the only reason he was up. It probably wasn’t even the main reason to be honest. It seemed like an after thought, brought up by the fact that she was in his line of vision. That type of timid worry didn’t turn him green. She looked at him carefully, and then continued onward foolishly, “Why are you really out of bed?” Never let it be said that Toni Stark knew when to stop. 

“It’s nothing Toni.” His voice was a bit sharp, and Toni’s suspicions were instantly confirmed. So that hadn’t been the only reason, just a convenient one.

“Liar.” That was the second time she’d called him that tonight, and she couldn’t help but think that she was pushing her luck.

He looked at her sharply, anger flashed across his face dangerously, his eyes began to stain green slowly. They stared at each other for a few moments, she looked at him calmly, like the word really didn’t mean that much to her. But it was huge to him. So huge, she obviously had no idea what that word did to him, what it meant to really be a liar. What it was like to promise to cherish and protect someone and nearly kill them, what it was to vow never again then have it happen over and over and over.  
He sighed lowly, shoulder slumping forward, he felt like making himself as small as possible, so he could be safe from Toni’s prying eyes. She saw too much, no one really seemed to notice, but Toni knew when something bugged people, she acted like an immature rich idiot, but she knew things. 

No one realized it, thinking that she complained about things just to bug the hell out of people. Not realizing that she did it for them, knowing most of them were too proud to admit when things bothered them.

Maybe he should just tell her; her calling him a liar didn’t seem so offensive the more that he thought about it, it was more like…..usually tactless Toni conversation openers. What did he have too loose? Besides her respect and his unshakable image….yea nothing to lose at all.

“Nightmares.” He said it as softly as he could, ashamed to be telling Toni of all people. Toni Stark, the woman who was strong enough, or was it foolish, to look Hulk in the face and call him a friend. The woman who, at any moment, could die if the light in her chest suddenly stopped working. And he was upset about nightmares. “Pathetic.” He could literally hear…his voice snarling through the thoughts drifting around loosely.

Toni nodded; she definitely understood that problem, more than she cared to admit. “Hulk?” She looked at him cautiously, knowing she really shouldn’t pry, but not able to help herself. This was her friend. Bruce was closer to her than anyone else, maybe even Pepper, what the hell kind of friend would she be if she just left him to be miserable? She wanted to help him, even if she didn’t know how. She was willing to go out on a limb and try to talk with him about…feelings.

He took a sharp breath, and just stared at the package of tea in his hands. Toni was about to say something, anything to dispel the awful silence that choked them, but his voice interrupted in a hoarse whisper. “About Betty…but mostly about my father.”

Toni looked at him blankly, her mind was whirling curiously. Betty she knew vague details about. From what she heard, Bruce had been in love with her, but she left him and started dating a man who had tried his best to capture and kill Bruce. So she was automatically labeled heartless bitch in Toni’s mind files. She’d have hated the woman anyway for somehow getting to know Bruce enough for him to love her, but then she left him? Definitely a bitch. If someone like Bruce loved her, Toni knew she’d do every stupid thing in her power to keep him hers forever. 

Her thoughts switched gears from jealousy to the next topic at hand rapidly. His father was something new. Thinking about it, she really didn’t know much about Bruce before the accident. She’d gotten vague details from S.H.E.I.L.D; he was born in Dayton Ohio, raised by his Aunt, typical bullshit that Toni never really cared about. Until now. Now she wanted to know the reasons behind everything, to be painfully honest she’d wanted to know everything about him since she’d met him. She’d wanted to crawl in his head and figure out what made him tick, figure out every little thing that had made him who he was today. 

She hopped off the counter silently and stood a bit behind him. He looked so sad and lost, Toni couldn’t stand to see him more upset then he usually was. She placed a hand on his shoulder gently, she had absolutely no idea what she was doing, but she hoped she could comfort him in some small way. Even if it was just by letting him know she was there with him.

He stayed completely still for a while, he didn’t push her hand off, he didn’t tell her to leave; so Toni figured she had to be doing something right. Suddenly, but very slowly, like he was afraid he’d scare her off; he placed his hand over hers.   
His hand was warm, the still green tinged fingers trembled slightly over hers, like he was reliving every nightmare he’d had. He seemed so helpless, and that scared Toni. She’d seen Bruce as many things, but helpless seemed out of bounds for a man who could turn into an enormous green rage monster at a second’s notice. Seemed so off for a man who was constantly a rock for the team, calming tempers and injecting witty one liners into arguments. 

Toni crossed her thumb over the top of his hand, and began to rub little circles in his skin softly. She’d seen Pepper do it to Happy when he was upset about something, so she figured it was a smart thing to do.

They stood there in the silence, pensive but overall comfortable with each other’s presence. Toni watched him subtly, not minding in the least when he squeezed her hand softly, in fact she welcomed it. She wanted him to take comfort from her. Wanted him to let her soothe the creases that had taken residence between his brown eyes. That was such a foreign concept to her, but it was something she wanted to do for him. Just him, and only him.

He looked over his shoulder at her and smiled tentatively; somewhat surprised that she had taken this so seriously. He had expected her to joke this away, but instead she just looked back at him seriously, her dark eyes void of their usual mischief and laughter. Even though he was always telling Toni to be more serious, he wasn’t sure he really liked serious Toni. Because serious Toni understood firsthand what he meant when he said “father”, she knew in graphic detail what caused his nightmares; he didn’t want her to understand. He didn’t want to think of Toni in the same type of pain he’d suffered. Because he knew she was fragile. Even if she played like she wasn’t, the smallest thing could break her to pieces. He looked at her mournfully, brown eyes full of sorrow for what a sorry pair they made together.

Toni understood what his eyes said; she could practically see his thoughts in those rich brown eyes. She just smiled, but it wasn’t a real smile. The corners of her mouth lifted, but there was no joy in her eyes, they were just weary and sad. Part of her mind reeled at letting herself be so vulnerable, for showing parts of her real self, but it was Bruce, and for some insane reason that made it okay. Because for some reason, he was okay with her real self, and she knew he’d never use it against her.

Silence flowed around them softly, it was sad and heavy, but for the first time either of them could really remember; they weren’t alone in the silence. So it became bearable, and part of the weight was lifted as they shared it together.

“Thank you.” Bruce’s voice broke a bit, he still seemed so small. 

She nodded a bit, not really sure how to respond, people didn’t usually thank her for things. They just accepted what she did, and moved on with life.

He let go of her hand gently and, overcome by some sort of madness, he pulled her close and hugged her. He knew Natasha Stark didn’t do hugs, but she also didn’t like things being passed to her, and he got away with that all the time. So why not hugs too? She didn’t seem that much smaller than him now, but she was still small. Her slim body fit against his, and her head brushed under his chin lightly. He was amazed at how different she seemed this close; he had the most insane urge to protect her from the world. To make sure her pain stopped for good. He closed his eyes silently, this friendship was about to get even more complicated for him. Especially since he knew he was on the edge of something bigger with her, he just didn’t want to think of what.

She stayed absolutely still for a few long moments, and then she gradually relaxed into whatever madness this was. She wrapped her arms around his larger frame a bit timidly, and sank a bit closer to his warmth. This was probably a terrible idea, but it felt so good to just be held. To just be close to someone without needing to give them things. She nuzzled closer, and smiled when he wrapped his arms around her tighter. 

They stood together for while, both knowing that they were moving out of their comfortable safe friendship into murky waters. This might lead them somewhere they had no idea how to navigate, but for some reason that was okay with them.


	3. For Science!

It was surprising how normal they were around each other after their little nighttime incident in the kitchen. Toni had half expected some awkward shuffling around each other for the next couple days, and really that had to be a sign that she’d been watching too many TV dramas with Steve. Or Bruce and she were just different. 

There were, however, subtle differences in their interactions from that night on. Lingering fingers and smiles that hinted at something bubbling just under the surface of their skin. No one else on the team seemed to notice, outwardly they were still the same science buddies, but away from the team, hidden from curious eyes they toed the line of more. Whatever it was between them waited patiently, swirled around the surface calmly waiting for one of them to be ready to cross the lines they’d built around themselves. 

The day was going fairly well, considering they were supposed to test out Toni’s new suit and couldn’t because of a lightning storm. She was all for it but Bruce put his foot down after hearing about what happened the last time she’d tested a new suit during a storm. She’d given up trying to convince him that falling from 3 stories to land on a dumpster wasn’t a big deal in a metal suit when he practically carried her out of the lab. He only let her back in when she promised not to test the suit out. So now they sat in the lab together, quietly working on little projects that had fallen to the wayside. 

Every now and then she’d look up to find him watching her, whenever she did he’d flush the most adorable shade of pink before going back to what he had been working on previously. It was all so normal and sweet that she half expected Loki or Dr. Doom to crash through a wall and fuck shit up. Toni Stark wasn’t used to normal, or sweet, or relaxed. Her life had always been a whirlwind of parties, alcohol, violence, drugs, and science. She gripped her sauntering gun tightly, her life had been such a royal mess and she wondered how long it would take before it started affecting Bruce as well, how long it would take until she hurt him too.

“Toni!”

She jumped, swivel chair shooting from her desk, knocking over papers and mechanical parts as she went. Wide brown eyes cast a curious glace over to Bruce who was giving her some sort of half amused look from his neat little work station.

“I called you a couple times,” he gave her an apologetic smile before motioning her over, “I need your help with this.” His sleeve was rolled up past his elbow, strong fingers gripped a medical needle firmly. Little bloody dots littered his arm, and the ski around his expressive eyes had bled to a muted green. He’d obviously been trying to, unsuccessfully, draw blood for whatever he was working on.

She walked over, “Aren’t you a doctor or something?” She took the needle from him with a facetious grin, “Because for all you know I could be really, really bad at this.” She disinfected the needle with a small alcohol pad, then swiped it across the inside of his arm gently.

“I thought you were good at everything Toni,” his voice was just as light as hers, and she couldn’t help but love it. “Don’t tell me there’s something the great Toni Stark can’t do!” He looked at her with mock horror, and she marveled at the fact that this was the real Bruce. Not the timid scientist the rest of the world saw, but a shy, sarcastic, slightly cocky man who could match Toni Stark word for word, banter for banter. 

“I am good at everything,” She palpitated the vein gently, placed two fingers on either side and tried to figure out the best place to jab him, “but my P.H.Ds aren’t in poking men with anger problems,” the needle slid in smoothly, and she cast him a lazy smile, “Though I can think of all sorts of kinky games that have me playing doctor.”

“I’m sure,” his fingers brushed hers as he held the needle in place, watching the vile fill up with thick crimson. His eyes flashed up to her and the corner of his mouth quirked up in a goofy smirk, “And I’m sure they’re all based on the fluids you have to get pumped into you at the hospital after you’ve had one too many.”

He smiled shyly when she started laughing. It was a pleased smile though, she never laughed so openly with anyone else, never let them see her so unguarded, this was his laugh. He let his eyes fall back to the vial, he shouldn’t think like that, it wasn’t his place. He didn’t deserve to think of Toni like that, but he couldn’t help it. He pulled the needle out carefully, and nearly jumped when Toni grabbed it from hi deftly.

“Take care of the vial, I got this.” She laughed a bit as his eyes tracked the needle, he cringed visibly when some of his blood smeared onto the pads of her fingers, sickly crimson against the tan skin. She threw the needle into a little bio hazard box and shook her head at him in mock exasperation, “It’s going to take more than a little blood to mess with this amount of awesome Bruce.”

“This isn’t something we should mess around with Tony,” worry lines had formed around his eyes, and all trace of previous humor had fled them, “my blood gives people radiation sickness. You always have cuts on your hands Toni, I don’t want any of that getting inside you.” As sickly hot as the idea of something of his being inside her was, he didn’t want her taking risks with her safety.

She washed her hands slowly, “I’m a genius Bruce. A genius who goes out and fights crazy guys with antlers, and lives with a capscicle, some master assassins, a demi-go, and a man,” she gave him a fond smile, “who has some breathtaking anger management issues.” She dried her hands off and walked toward him. He pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose nervously, and she could feel his eyes watching her every movement, like he expected her to turn green or faint. 

She sat down in one of the chairs and rolled over to him lazily, invading his space in one fluid movement. She crossed her arms on the table and propped her head on them, looking up at him with a casual smile. She liked being in his space. And really why wouldn’t he like her being in his space? All her wonderful qualities aside, she was his science buddy. She’d earned her little area in his space. 

He shook his head, arm brushing against her elbow as he turned, and continued his work quietly. She was fascinated by the way his hands moved when he worked, there was something so soothing about watching Bruce commit science. Maybe it was the fact that for once in her life she finally had someone around who was her intellectual equal and she didn’t have to pay them to be here. The reasons didn’t really matter to her, all that mattered was she always wanted to stop and watch him, loved watching him piece together things, and work on projects until they became something different, something that, at times, she didn’t even have the knowledge to do. If that wasn’t magic she didn’t know what was.

She moved out of the chair and leaned over his shoulder slightly. Close enough to feel the heat rolling off his body, close enough to catch a faint smell of his aftershave. His curly hair brushed her cheek as he moved, and she had the most insane, unstoppable urge to run her fingers through the greying locks. His hair had been so soft brushing against her skin, and she was insanely curious to know if it would feel the same way curling around her fingers. Her fingers twitched with want, and she clenched her fists determined to concentrate on what Bruce was doing instead of giving into some silly idea. 

But now that it was in her head she couldn’t stop thinking about it. All she could think about was running her fingers through his hair, being close enough to really feel him. To be close enough to really take in how good he always smelled, like the night she had let him hold her. Heady and warm, like deserts ad jungles. Spicy like the places he’d lived, with just a hint of something so earthy and warm it made her head spin. 

Fuck control. She was going to play with his hair.

She brought her hand up slowly, he was so focused on what he was doing that he didn’t even notice her fingers hovering right over his head. Toni smiled victoriously and decided that she was going to take it as a sign from the universe, obviously higher powers wanted this to happen. She reached out with both hands tentatively, and then sank her fingers into his hair gently, running them through the luxuriously soft curls.

“Toni?” Equal doses of confusion and amusement swirled in him pleasantly, making themselves known in his voice, “What are you doing?” It felt wonderful. Her nails scratched his scalp softly, and her warm fingers curled up in his messy hair. It was just odd for anyone to touch him so boldly, but this was Toni. Normal rules of engagement never applied to her. 

She didn’t answer him, simply played with his hair happily prepared to stop at any moment should he give her any indication that this was a no go. Being the scientist she was, she decided that she had to experiment, so she applied a little more pressure, scratched his scalp gently with every movement of her fingers over his head. She was rewarded with a small, quiet groan, and oh yea this was totally one of her better ideas. That was the single sexiest sound she had ever heard in her life, and she was an expert on sexy. The little sound made her wonder what he would sound like when he moaned. Would it be breathy or powerful? Would he just let it all out or be contained like he always was when fire ran under his skin. 

Tanned fingers wandered through his curls lazily, then slowly and steadily blazed a path down his neck. She rubbed small circles over his neck and shoulders, letting the pads of her fingers trail over his skin as much as possible where it wasn’t covered by his shirt. Bruce relaxed under her hands, and she bit back a smile when he let his hands come up to rest over hers. His hands swallowed hers completely, she could feel all the little callouses he’d amassed over the years as he squeezed her fingers gently and let his head fall back to relax against her stomach. 

He was completely off guard for the first time since she’d known him, and he was letting her see it. Toni watched in awe for a few moments, ranking this up with the formation of stars and the ending of planets. Universal moments so powerful and rare that humans had learned to treasure them. Emboldened by his acceptance of this whole…whatever she’d started she leaned down and placed an uncharacteristically gentle kiss on his forehead, let her lips linger on his warm skin as he closed his eyes. She moved away slowly, fingers sill moving over his shoulders, and waited for this to blow up, waited for the anxiety and disgust over how overtly cute and domestic she was being. Really she was waiting for him to come to his senses and realize that he’d let Toni of all people see this part of him. 

Bruce watched her for a few moments, noting the way she tensed. He could practically see the thoughts moving through her head. He smiled mischievously, moving his hands from over hers and swung his chair around. The motion caught her off guard and knocked her off balance, giving him the perfect opportunity to draw Toni close and pull her into his lap quicker than she could really process the movement. There were moments like this when a small part of him was grateful that some of the other guy’s speed and strength bled into him, because the undignified, high pitched squeak she let out when she was so unceremoniously dragged into his lap was going to amuse him for weeks. 

“Bastard.”

Well wasn’t this familiar? Bruce looked into her eyes, wanting to make sure she wasn’t actually upset. The half-smile on her face reassured him, “Me? Whatever gave you that idea?” His voice matched the playfulness in her tone perfectly. 

Toni laughed joyfully, and it had to be one of the most beautiful things Bruce had ever seen or heard in his life. Her shoulders were shaking under the force of her laughter, and she just looked to goddamned happy that he couldn’t help but laugh with her. He loved that he’d caused this, she was rarely so happy and it was a sight to behold when she was.

Her forehead came to rest against his as their laughter mingled together, and her fingers found their way back into his curls. He smiled warmly, captivated by the sparkle that had settled into her dark eyes. He could see cautious affection hidden in them and he just couldn’t help it anymore. Whatever had been building between them finally snapped. 

His lips were pressed against hers before he was fully aware of what he was doing, he let his hands curl around her waist firmly, anchoring her to him as she melted against him. All rational thought was gone from them as their lips melded and moved together.   
Her fingers gripped the back of his head helplessly as she kissed back. He kissed her slowly at first, little sipping touches that made her blood rush, then harder lips moving against hers firmly and she let go. Gave into the passion burning and sparking between them. His arms circled her, pulled her firmly against his chest, she could feel his body eating up through his clothes, felt the near desperation in his kisses.

And it almost frightened her how much she really needed this, needed him. Almost. Because if there was anyone in this world worth needing it was Bruce. Lovable, wonderful, goofy, smart, damaged, haunted, thoughtful Bruce. 

Beep……..Beep……..Beep……..

Her tongue traced a fiery path across his lips, and they both groaned when his darted out to taste her cautiously. His fingers found their way under the back of her shirt traced patterns smoothly all over the bare skin of her back. They let go, letting the kiss progress quickly into something messy and wonderful.

Beep…..Beep…..Beep…..

The heart monitor on his watch was drowned out by the want coursing through their veins. He tasted so amazing, and she wanted more. Toni bit his lip lightly, tugging gently as his pupils began to swallow up the warm brown of his eyes. There was a faint speckling of acid green in the rich brown hues, and she couldn’t care less. 

She undid the first few buttons of his shirt while his tongue tangled with hers, pressed her hands against his skin as she pulled back to bite and kiss along his jaw. His stubble rasped against her skin just on the right side of a little too much, and a little too good. The contact made her arch against him, and she loved the way his ticking pulse jumped when she nipped the hollow of his throat, before soothing away the sting with a soft swipe of her tongue. 

His fingers found a firm grip in her wild curls, and he pulled her back up so he could taste her again. His heart was beating an erratic rhythm, but he was too lost in Toni to notice that warning signs. She was so soft and beautiful pressed so tightly against him. He let his lips trail along the smooth skin of her throat, took it as a sign of encouragement when her head dropped back, barring the expanse of tan skin to him. He leaned back, pulled the hem of her shirt off slowly and watched as she was slowly revealed to him. Impatience overtook him and he threw her shirt somewhere far, far away. The black bra she wore was a stark contrast to her tan skin, and pulled his eyes to the soft curves and swells of her breasts. He needed to taste her, ached to feel that silky skin against his tongue. He ran his tongue right around the edge of the bra, smirked devilishly as the dusky blush that was making its way across her cheeks.

She pushed his shirt off his shoulders, not noticing the tears that had already begun in the fabric, headless of the green lacing its way through his veins. He hand managed to unhook her bra while she was distracted and she threw it off uncaringly. The adoring look on his face was ripping her apart at the seams. Her body screamed for him, achy, wet, needy. His mouth found her nipple and teeth scrapped against it lightly. Her fingers tightened in his hair, and Toni practically screamed when he sucked, letting his tongue and teeth tease her nipple.

Beep..Beep..Beep..

She ground down against him sharply, felt a familiar hardness though her jeans. Warm brow eyes bled to a stark green, and his control nearly snapped when she moved her hips against his. He pulled back like he’d been burned, hands finding her forearms and holding her out at arm’s length. He made the mistake of looking at her, and the sight of all that bare skin and wanton need in her eyes nearly broke his control. That look was for him. All for him. He looked away, heart beating wildly against his chest. 

“We have to…” he looked into her dark eyes, felt a small rush of guilt. If it had been anyone else this wouldn’t be an issue. “We have to go slowly Toni…this is,” he let his forehead rest against her shoulder, “this is dangerous. I don’t know if we’ll,” god this was embarrassing. Why couldn’t he be a normal man? Why couldn’t he just give her what she wanted? “I don’t know if I’ll ever actually be able to have sex again Toni. If I can it has to be…we have to take this…” he sighed, “Slowly.”

Toni nodded silently, still a bit dazed by what had transpired. They hadn’t even gotten all their clothes off and it was still the best….whatever it was that she’d done in her life. “Yea I can…” She pushed her hair from her eyes, leaned over and pulled her shirt on quickly, “I can do slowly. Slowly is good.” She’d never really done slow. Slow meant relationships and Toni didn’t do relationships. But Toni also didn’t let people pass her things and Bruce got away with that. She slip off him lowly, missing the contact the second she was separated from him. “Let’s go to dinner.”

“….Dinner?”

“Yea like…” she had no idea what the hell she was doing, “A date…thing.”

Bruce gave her a slightly dumbfounded look. He’d pulled the brakes completely on sex, right in the middle of going at it and she was ok with it? Toni wanted to go to dinner? “I uh…yea. I…you know what lets.” His eyes dropped to his hands, and he tried to control his breathing. She deserved so much better than this.

Soft hands cupped his jaw, pulling his head up so she could meet his eyes. “Just so you know I don’t know what I’m doing,” she kissed him softly, hating to be vulnerable, but hating even more the self-loathing in his warm eyes, “but I’ll try Bruce. For you. I’ll try.”

He cupped her face softly, thumbs stroking across her cheeks gently, “Thank you.”

“So this is like…” her eyes searched his face, “A relationship right? Like you’re my science boyfriend now.”

His lips quirked up, and he placed a tender kiss against her lips, “Yes Toni. This is a relationship.”

She nodded a bit, and decided to leave before she made a fool of herself. She paused at the door, turning to look at him, “Meet me in the garage at 6:00 ok? We’ll go get dinner.” She walked out before she could respond.

Bruce grinned at the empty doorway in delight. Apparently, he had a date.


	4. It Could Be Worse

Toni rummaged through her closet frantically, and tried to ignore the fact that she was actually worried about what she was going to wear. She’d told Bruce to meet her at six, and it was already past 5:50. She grabbed fistfuls of messy curls in her fingers and kicked away some ratty shoes. She had absolutely no idea why clothing mattered this much, but she knew that she wanted to put on something more than holey jeans and a grease stained t-shirt. There was also no way in hell she was going to put on one of the fancy dresses she owned for the sole purpose of keeping Pepper from killing her at major publicity events. Toni stark hated sparkles, but she hated the idea of an angry Pepper coming after her more.

She fall back onto her bed and took in the war zone before her, crumpled t-shirts and various pairs of jeans littered the floor in piles. This, she thought looking at the sad sight, was exactly the reason she didn’t date. Too much work, too much trouble, too much anxiety. Calloused fingers pinched the bridge of her nose to stave off the oncoming headache, Bruce deserved some effort on her part. He’d looked so happy after she left, like she’d somehow given him something really special. Toni couldn’t bear the idea of letting him down, he never got that excited over anything. She gave the clothing a bemused smile, she was screwed already. That man had her wrapped around his finger and she hadn’t even gone on a date with him yet.

“Aaaahhuuuuuhhh!” She fell back, burying her face in her hands while letting out a few more inhuman sounds. She knew that it was already past six, but she really didn’t want to go down in jeans and a t-shirt, especially since, in the back of her mind, she knew that Bruce was going to try and dress up. And it was going to be cute, and he was going to look adorable and she was apparently going to look like shit.

“Stark,” the door gave an unhappy sound, and she turned to it, half expecting it to cave in under the force of the knocking, “Open up.”

Nick fucking Fury had the absolute worst timing she’d ever encountered. She was fairly certain he had radar for this kind of shit because really, now was bad. Toni rolled off the bed, opening the door with a sarcastic smile already painted on her lips, “Well if it isn’t patches. Come to assemble the Avengers? Because if you are—”

“Shut up Stark.” Well that was to the point. Fury smirked at the annoyed scowl on her face, and held up a hanger with something covered in protective wrapping. His good eye laughed mischievously as he held the hanger out to her like some offering, “Rogers told me you had a date tonight. I decided, in my infinite mercy, that you needed all the help you could get.”

Suspicious hands took the hanger from him slowly, pulling of the wrapper quickly to behold a simple red dress, with shimmery gold accents trailing beautifully off the hanger. Wide brown eyes gave Fury a worried look. Nick Fury did not hand out prom dresses to people like Toni. “What exactly is this?”

“For a self-proclaimed genius you’re pretty slow on the uptake Stark.” Dark lips curled up into a gently mocking smile, “I heard you had a date. So I took the time out of my busy schedule o make sure you didn’t look like you stumbled out of a garage.”

“I just…” she looked at the dress silently, dared to let her fingers trail over the soft material, “Why?” Fury could barely tolerate her on a perfect day, what the hell was he doing buying her dresses for a date that was supposed to be between her and Bruce? Which brought her to the next question, how the fuck had Steve found out?

The mocking smile evened out, “don’t hate you Stark no matter what you may think,” could’ve fooled her, “You annoy the shit out of me. However this is something I don’t want to see you fail at. For your sake and Banners.” Fury would never, under the threat of anything, admit that he had a soft spot for the woman. She was a little gamble that had paid off hugely. She had somehow managed to behave like an adult long enough to make the Avenger initiative work. 

She just gave him a blank nod, deciding that she’d deal with the idea of a friendly Nick Fury another day. 

He walked away, pausing only long enough to check his watch, “Better hurry Stark. You’re already three minutes late.”

She scrambled into the room, shutting the door with a loud bang, before tearing off her clothes quickly. She pulled the dress on gingerly, cursing Fury’s spy skills when the dress fit perfectly on her. She pulled the stupid flower belt off in a huff, and dared to look in the mirror. The red material hung off her beautifully, cinching at her waist and puffing out gently to rest just below her knees. The flowery gold accents were surprisingly…okay. They didn’t overpower her, and the whole colour theme put her in a comfortable head space. It was like wearing a girly, completely unarmed version of her suit. Nervous fingers arranged her wild curls into something approaching controlled, and slicked on a thin layer of eyeliner to make it look like she’d tried.

She pulled on a pair of black flats that Pepper had given her in lieu of heels as she ran down her hall, hopping comically as she tried to pull them on without stopping. She slid into the elevator and hit the button for the garage with enough force to make her fingers sting, before slumping back against the wall. She couldn’t believe she was actually doing this. This was crazy, so far into unknown territory that she was fairly certain she couldn’t find her way through with two hands and a GPS.

“Jarvis.” Her voice was a nervous squeak and she scowled at her reflection.

“Yes Miss Stark?”

She tapped her foot nervously, “Where’s Bruce?”

“Dr. Banner is currently in the garage Miss. Stark. Do you need me to relay a message?”

“Nooope.” Toni smoothed out the dress restlessly and waited for the annoying ding to signify her arrival into the garage. She stared at the doors, which seemed so imposing to her at the moment. This was like walking into Mordor and knowing Frodo was going to screw you. 

The doors opened slowly, and she ran out the moment she was able to….right into Bruce. His eyes widened and he tried to catch her, but they both tumbled to the floor with a painful thump. She landed half on top of him, hitting her head against his painfully as they went down. They let out twin groans of pain, and Toni rubbed her nose to ease the stinging lacing through it. This was just a wonderful start to the night. 

They laid on the ground for a few moments, too dazed to manage the climb back up to their feet. Bruce got up first, and Toni watched from her position on the wonderfully hard ground as he eased onto his knees before rocking back onto his feet slowly. He looked kind of nice from this angle too. She could tell that he’d tried to brush his wavy curls into some sort of style, but the graying strands had absolutely refused to behave and waved about his eyes loosely. He’d changed into chemical stain free khakis and the delicious purple shirt of se…science. 

Damn he looked good, she rubbed her nose as she stood, and damn his head was hard. She smiled at him from behind her hand, delighted when he gave her a sheepish grin of his own.

“Fancy meeting you here Bruce.”

Strong hands wrapped around her arms, gently easing her all the way back to her feet, “I’m so sorry Toni,” he brushed the dress off gently taking in the sight of it all over her tan skin, “I should have watched where I was going.”

She opened her mouth to let out a playful retort, but stopped dead heart squeezing painfully at the look on his face. His brown eyes were downcast and he looked like he expected her to call this whole thing off because of an accident. It broke small parts of her to see that kind of look on his face. The world had taught him that he wasn’t worth forgiveness, and anger welled up in her at the idea of that bullshit. 

She cupped his face softly, tilting his head just enough that she could move close without another head bang and kissed him softly. Her fingers ran over his jaw gently, slightly disappointed that he’d shaved, but mostly marveling at how nice it was to kiss him. He kissed back timidly at first, before falling into sync with her lips. They stood in the dim light of the garage, kissing leisurely, her hands cupping his jaw, and his arms around her waist holding her flush to him. 

Bruce pulled back softly, to press his forehead against hers and close his eyes, she stayed pressed against him, let her fingers wander to curl in the wavy strands at the nape of his neck. 

“Are you ready to go,” warm fingers brushed errant curls out of her eyes.

“I was born ready Brucie,” she smiled goofily, and began walking toward the closest car. Only to be stopped by a gentle grip on her wrist. She looked over her shoulder and shot him a confused smile, “Getting cold feet there big guy?”

He laughed warmly and tugged her closer carefully, “Let’s walk. It’s a nice night, we can pick up something then walk around the park.” The dumbfounded look on her face was priceless and he laughed helplessly pulling her back against his chest as he did, “Yes Toni,” he smirked down at her, “walking. Like moving your feet against the ground to get from point A to B.”

“But,” she looked at her Tesla longingly, all its beautiful white curves and shiny edges, “it’s a new car.” She gave Bruce her best puppy expression, the one that only occasionally got her out of trouble.

He only laughed, “No Toni,” brown eyes shot her car a bit of a disapproving look, “you know how many people you could feed for the price of that car?” He shook his head, and laced his fingers through hers firmly, “If we walk we can spend more time together.”  
She wasn’t going to argue with that logic, nor was she going to argue with the way his fingers, curled in her gently, tugged her along, imploring, but not demanding that she follow him out into the night. She followed, smiled at the jubilant light in his beautiful eyes. She couldn’t deny this man anything, and she definitely wasn’t going to try and deny the idea of more time with him.

They walked out into the humid nighttime air, and quickly blended into the bustling New York crowd, becoming one with the mindless flow of people. She leaned closer when he wrapped an arm around her shoulder, and she dared to let hers wrap around his waist. Completely aware of the fact that they probably looked like one of those mushy, cute couples she’d always made fun of. They moved together seamlessly, stopping only to duck into a small Indian restaurant. Bruce looked back at her, silently asking if this was fine, only turning to order when she nodded her approval. 

No one in the world would have ever thought to take Toni Stark to a little hole in the wall like this. She wasn’t upset though, far from it, the gesture seemed so…Bruce. He wasn’t flashy or over the top, and he walked through a place like New York and was able to appreciate the smaller places like this. The ones that people normally would have walked by without a second glace. 

He handed her a takeout container full of rice and curry, and walked back out with her into the bustling street, “I hope you don’t mind eating outside,” he held her close as they walked down winding paths, “it’s so clear out tonight, and there’s so many stars.” He flushed a bit and pushed his lasses up his face nervously, “I thought it would be nice to eat under them.” 

They ended up sitting side by side on an empty bench, surrounded by plants and stars in the middle of central park. They ate and watched people go by, until the park was secluded and they had the stars to themselves. 

Bruce held her close when they were done, ran his fingers through her curls slowly, smiled warmly when she pressed closer to him. She resolutely ignored how girly she felt, and let her head rest against his warm chest. The purple shirt of science was soft against her cheek, and she closed her eyes to listen to the steady rhythm of his heart. It sounded, and felt much more powerful than her own, and if she stayed still enough she could literally feel the beat faintly against her cheek. Her inner scientist wondered if it was an after effect of the gamma radiation, or if it had something to do with the Hulk.

“My heart is bigger than an average man’s,” there was a weary sigh in his voce, and she looked up to look at his face, “it pumps blood harder and faster than a normal man’s.” He wouldn’t meet her eyes, spoke as if they were talking about something distasteful, “When...ah…when he comes out, my heart stays the same size. The gamma mutated my heart, I couldn’t survive the change if my heart had stayed a normal size.” Bruce finally met her eyes, and there was sorrow in the deep brown, bitter lines edged around them, “No part of me was unaffected. I can’t even….” He trailed off, moving away from her unconsciously, “I can’t even kiss someone I care about without worrying that I’ll change.”

Toni reached out to him, wanted to pull him close, but he shook his head and continued on. “You have to know these things now Toni. I can’t get far into this,” he motioned between them vaguely, “only to have you leave because I’m not enough.” He stared at his hands, hunched over shoulders tense, “I can’t get too physical with you, definitely not all at once, hell I might never be able to have sex again. I might never be able to sleep with you Toni.”

Brown eyes looked at her longingly, “As much as I may want to, it could never happen. I’ll always have to watch my heartbeat, always have to be careful of my temper. I’ll—”

She cut him off gently, pressed her fingers to his lips until he looked up at her. She shook her head a bit, waited until she could be sure that he’d listen, before looking at him seriously. Toni didn’t do serious often, hell she didn’t even take her own life seriously, but this wasn’t something she was going to play around with. This whole thinking he wasn’t good enough thing was damn well going to end now. “I don’t care.” His eyes widened and she cut him off by pushing her entire hand over his mouth this time, “I could care less if we end up together until we’re old and gross and we never have sex once.”

He arched his brow at her, and she scowled darkly, “I’m serious. Do you see this face? This is a serious face Bruce,” she flicked his nose lightly and smiled softly at the look he shot her, mild mannered her ass. “I don’t….it doesn’t matter. Do I like sex? That really isn’t a question.”

His shoulder slumped again, but she pressed on, “Bruce as weird as this is going to sound coming from me, not everything in life is about sex. Hell not even everything in my life is about sex.” She took a deep breath and fought back the slight tinges of panic. She was never this open with anyone. Ever. The idea of opening up like this, setting herself up for the type of pain that could follow almost threw her into a panic attack. But Bruce needed to hear this, and honestly she needed to say it, “This is the happiest I’ve ever been in my life. Not just tonight, but everything. All the time I’ve been around you, working with you, and arguing, and fighting alongside you.”

Shaking fingers tangled in his hair a bit helplessly, tried to ground her back on earth, “All these problems you think we’re going to have and all the not doing stuff that might come along…I don’t care. It doesn’t matter,” she tried to remember the exact moment she’d become so fucking sappy, “you’re my science boyfriend remember? We’ll work this out.”

Brown eyes stared at her silently, and she wondered, chest hurting, if she’d made a mistake by telling him all of this. Maybe she’d read the situation wrong? Maybe it wasn’t as serious as she thought? All those thought faded away when he pulled her to him desperately and clung to her for dear life. He buried his face in her wild curls and she cling to him tightly, thankful that he didn’t find her little speech pathetic. 

“Thank you.” His voice washed over her in a hoarse whisper, like he was fighting back tears. He pulled her down gently, and kissed her lightly, little sipping kisses that made her head spin deliciously. He let his forehead fall to rest against hers gently, and he closed his eyes when she let her hands come to rest against his chest slightly, tan fingers curling up into his shirt and holding him to her.

They stayed close like that for hours, talking softly under the stars until it became too cold for them to stay out. They huddled together, hands intertwined comfortably as they made the trek back to Stark tower. The garage was blessedly warm, and the elevator opened at their entrance. No doubt something Jarvis had schemed up, but Toni was grateful for her AI’s thoughtfulness. 

They rode shoulder to shoulder, until Bruce threw her a mischievous look, and stopped the elevator suddenly. What…the hell…? She looked at him then at the elevator panel, and was cut off by him pinning her to the wall gently, grinning from ear to ear the entire time. Toni couldn’t help but run her hands up his back, feeling the muscles there tense and relax under her fingers. His broad hands trailed up her sides and she tilted her hips forward just enough to press gently against his. 

“Toni….” He nipped her ear gently and she was delighted by the husky notes in his voice, pitching it deeper than normal as his lips roamed along her jaw. He bit and kissed at the delicate skin, until he reached her lips. Bruce traced the tip of his tongue across her bottom lip, letting out a soft growl when Toni rolled her hips against his in retaliation. Everything was slow and heady, nothing to fast or complicated. 

Her fingers scratched his scalp lightly, she moaned softly when he nipped at her lip gently, before soothing over the little sting with his tongue. Toni smiled wickedly before opening her mouth to his letting his tongue battle with hers gently. He tasted absolutely, wonderfully foreign; like far away deserts and long forgotten forests. Bruce tasted wild, and Toni couldn’t get enough.

Bruce’s hands were splayed across her ribs, thumbs resting under the swell of her breasts. He ran his nose along her jaw softly, skimmed his lips down her neck until they met her fluttering pulse. She moaned when as his tongue met her pulse, seemed to trace patterns into the skin. Sharp teeth applied just enough pressure to make her head swim. 

Toni let her head fall back against the wall with a sharp thunk, whimpering helplessly when his hips ground back against hers as she rocked against him, “B-Bruuuce,” he chuckled lowly and she blushed at the sinful sound, moaned as a familiar hardness pressed against her smoothly. She bit her lip, keeping herself from calling his name. His hands dug into her waist softly, and the small bites at her collar slowly became rough and possessive. 

Her curls whipped bout her head when his hands slid under her and hoisted her up until her chest was level with his face. Her legs wrapped around his waist reflexively, and he pressed harder against her grinding directly where she needed him.  
Her loud moans mixed with his low growls, and she had just enough presence of mind to realize he was growling. Not moaning. She looked down through her haze, and watched as his skin slowly tinted green. Damn it all if that wasn’t hot, but she was also smart enough to know it wasn’t good. Even if those two things were usually the same in her book. 

“Bruce,” she tried to pull his head up to look at her, but he wouldn’t be moved. His hips thrust against hers, and she couldn’t hold back a moan, nails digging into his back roughly as he did things with his hips that made her see stars. The arch of her body only served to encourage him. And as much as she wanted to continue, dear universe did she want to, Bruce would never forgive himself if he Hulked out, and they were in an elevator after all. Only one of them would currently survive a crumpled elevator.

“Bruce. Stop!” Her tone became sharp, and he instantly looked up at her, familiar brown eyes bleeding to acid green. “Bruce,” she ran her fingers through his hair softly, trying to ignore the unfulfilled ache between her legs, “we need to calm down,” she pressed her hand over his heart, and was startled at how wildly it was pumping, it was practically beating out of his chest. Where was his damn watch?

She looked around and spotted it on the floor, the thick leather strap snapped. Obviously his…transformation had started a while ago, and she had been too…ahem…busy, to notice. She ran her fingers through his hair soothingly, letting the air between them loose its charge. He shook against her, and she could tell that he was fighting to regain control again.

“It’s aright Bruce,” she held him close, “I promise it’s alright.” She pressed gently kisses to his temple, curled fingers in his hair gently as she tried to sooth him. 

He relaxed under her hands slowly, panting gently before pulling away softly. He looked up at her mournfully, “I’m sorry Toni. I just…thought I could stop myself.”

“No worries,” Toni kissed him quickly, “I had a good time.”

He looked at her blankly for a few moments, before giving an amused shake of his head, “You are something else.”

“I’m a genius, millionaire, sex goddess, philanthropist. What would you expect?”

“Some humility?”

“I don't think miracle worker was in that list.”

They laughed tangled up together in the elevator. Bruce lowered her to the ground gently, stayed close to her before pulling away slowly. He shifted, turning the most adorable shade of red before starting the elevator up again.

She smiled devilishly leaning toward him, “Cold shower kind of night?”

Bruce gave her an amused shake of his head before kissing her temple, “It seems like it now.”

Toni ran her hand along his hip gently, smiling innocently as her hand crept toward no man’s land, “You know, if you need some help….” She really couldn’t help herself.

Strong fingers grabbed her hand at the last moment, lifting it up so he could kiss the center of her palm, jussst close enough to the edge to let his eyes bleed green again, internally delighting in the way her pupils dilated as he nipped the pad of her finger, before pulling away from the edge and letting her go.

“You have no idea how badly I want that,” he kissed her forehead tenderly, “but I can’t trust myself enough Toni.” A rueful smile crossed his face, “To be honest that was…more than I thought we could do.”

“We really fucking suck at this whole slowly thing,” her head landed against his chest, and his arms wrapped around her shoulders. He chuckled at her irritated groan, “twice in one day Bruce!” She listened to the steady rhythm of his heart, “I don’t think slow is going to last too long.”

Bruce smiled and brushed her curls out of her eyes lightly, “We’ll see.”

The doors slid open to his floor silently, and he kissed her softly, letting that be the only point of contact between them, “Goodnight.”

She smiled warmly, “Goodnight.” watched him walk off silently, and barely had enough self-control to keep from sliding to the floor before her legs gave out. She slumped to the floor weakly and stared at the doors. That man….was going to be the death of her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Toni's dress on http://img.sheinside.com/images/sheinside.com/201304/1367112785050814224.jpg


	5. Moonlight Sonata

Not that Toni would ever admit it, but this situation was entirely her fault. Not that she would, self-examination and admitting to fault had never been a strong trait of hers. This had to be Dum-E’s fault, because she would have never in a million years told the worthless piece of scrap to weld her boots to the floor. The damn things only came done when unscrewed and the tool was….she looked around her feet, wobbling back and forth until she spotted it on the table….15 feet away from her.

Messy lab: 1 Stark: 0

She glared at the boots sullenly. What kind of genius didn’t build in a damn release? Toni Stark that’s who. She tried to pull her feet out, unsuccessfully, shouting abuse at Dum-E, and Jarvis and just about everything within eyesight. That wrench? Yea fuck that wrench it had no business being so far out of her reach.

“What have you done this time Toni?”

She’d been so busy condemning the wrench to hell that she hadn’t heard the doors opening, or the familiar click of Pepper’s heels making their way across her lab carefully. She bent over and twisted a bit to face the exasperated voice and gave the unamused red head a dazzling smile, “Pepper! You hardly ever come around anymore.” she continued trying to tug her feet free from their red prison, “What’s up?” It was already past nine at night, normally Pepper only made day visits.

“We need to get you,” Pepper waved her hands a bit frantically at Toni’s feet, “Unstuck first,” the red head looked over to her tools with a look of helpless ignorance, “What do I…?”

“Forget it,” She straightened in the boots and waved her hand dismissively at the tools, “Jarvis!”

“There’s no need for shouting Miss. Stark. I am everywhere after all.”

“Grab Bruce for me I need—”

“Not Bruce.” Pepper interrupted her mid-sentence earning an eyebrow raise from Toni.

“Okkkaaay…nix that…not Bruce,” She tried to think of the next person on the team she trusted to walk into her lab and not accidentally blow anything up, “Call…I guess…Steve? Yeah,” spangles wasn’t an idiot, “call Steve.” He was a guy, he’d know how to work a wrench and some tools. She tapped her lip contemplatively, then again he had been an art student…and not all guys liked tools.

Sharp tapping caught her attention and she contorted in order to give Pepper a questioning look, and frowned when the other woman shrank back a bit. Pepper was nervous….if Pepper was nervous Toni should be nervous because Pepper was never nervous. Unless Toni had made Pepper nervous, but since she couldn’t have something had to be terribly wrong in the world.

“So who died?”

“Toni!” Pepper’s tone was sharp and her face moved into the “you’ve said something insensitive” look, before she sat down on an upturned box primly, “that’s a terrible thing to ask. What if someone had actually died?”

“Is someone dead?”

“No Toni,” Pepper sighed and gave up trying to teach her friend adult behavior, “no one died.”

“Then I don’t see the problem,” she laughed at the look on her friend’s face, “I mean if someone had died then I would have to admit that was an ill-timed comment.”

A fond smile curled across Pepper’s face, “You’re impossible you know that?”

“I try really, really hard.” She pushed her safety goggles farther up her head, pulling her messy curls out of her face in the process. Dirty hands rubbed at her face, and only succeeded in smearing the already present grease farther over her face. “So what’s wrong.”

“Well—”

She was cut off by tall, blond, and America peeking his head into the lab, “Jarvis said you needed me?” She motioned him in, and rolled her eyes at how soldier like he walked. When he stopped next to her he was practically standing at attention, and really would it kill the man to relax a little?

“So that wrench over there, the one with the deeper holding,” he picked it up as she spoke, “you’re going to take that and unscrew me from my iron prison.”

Steve looked down at her feet, and she could see the questions forming in those baby blues. Which was really too bad for him, because Toni wasn’t in the mood to play 20 questions, Pepper’s anxiety was putting her on edge, and she wanted out of her confines so she could fix whatever was wrong with the world. Because when the world was fixed and happy Toni could commit science with Bruce… and covertly make-out with him in their free time.

Steve just shrugged and knelt at her feet, working on the fastenings holding her immobile, “You don’t have a release lever on these?

It wasn’t really a question, and she inhaled slowly, willing herself not to be a total bitch about this. Because Spangles was right, she needed to install emergency releases. “I haven’t gotten around to it yet Steve.”

“Well,” he’d gotten them undone, and he helped lift her out of the metal, “I’m sure you’ll come up with a good system for it.”

“Awwwww,” she kissed his cheek playfully as he set her down on a table, “America is still the land of the overtly friendly. No wait,” she pulled on a look of mock concentration, “Actually that’s Canada. Wrong country Cap,” she shoved him away gently, when he began to check her ankles, “you should reconsider your citizenship.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” he stood to full height and gave her a friendly grin, “you’ve got a few cuts Toni; you should put something on them.”

Toni pulled her ankles up into her lap one by one to check them herself, they were raw and a bit bloody. Which meant if Bruce saw them he was going to have a field day re-educating her about lab safety and all. He insisted that she wasn’t careful enough and he was right. She was just too lazy to start being careful. “I will thanks. You’re free to go soldier.”

He gave her a mock salute, giving them each one more, sunny smile, before marching out the door cheerfully. Sometimes Toni couldn’t help but like the fact that Steve was usually in a cheerful mood.

“Alright,” she crossed her legs leaning back to wrest on her hands, “You now have my full and undivided attention Pep.”

Pepper fiddled with the papers in her hands, “You know how Happy and I went on vacation?”

Toni shrugged, “I think I paid for it didn’t I? Wedding gift? Plus I got you a good sitter for Thomas.”

Pepper nodded, smoothing her hair out of her eyes carefully, “Well, while we were gone a contract was signed. One that I didn’t approve of and—”

“So terminate it.” There we go problem solved.

“We can’t Toni,” Pepper shuffled through the papers looking anywhere but Toni, “for one thing we’re legally bound for at least three months and at that point if, and only if we have a legitimate complaint can we terminate. For another our reputation is on the line the woman in question is a highly respected scientist and her father is a high ranking military official. We can’ just tell them to go away Toni.”

Her head tilted back, let her stare at the ceiling of her lab while she thought this through. This whole thing sounded like obligation, and obligation was a pain in the assss. Especially if it was an obligation even Pepper didn’t want to fill. “That doesn’t sound too bad…I suppose,” she wanted a drink. This kind of bullshit was exactly why she made Pepper CEO. Toni was still the owner and technically had the final say in things, but as CEO Pepper took care of all the things Toni couldn’t be bothered with.

“You say that now, but she’d be staying in the tower with the other teams of scientists you have housed here.”

“In the tower? As in,” Toni sat up and flailed her arms in a bit of a circular motion, “the place where I store all my Avengers?”

“Yes.”

“Yeah ok,” Toni shrugged, it wasn’t like they’d have access to Avenger elevators or floors or anything, “sounds like you already got this taken care of Pep.”

The red head twirled a loose strand of hair around her finger and Toni tensed again. Pepper only did that when there was really bad news on the horizon. “Peeepppper what aren’t you telling me?”

“The scientist is Elizabeth Ross,” the words came out in a rush and Toni almost had to ask her what she said.

Processing.....

Computing......

Oh fuck no.

Toni stayed calm, kept her voice even, but the hard glint in her eyes gave her away, “I’m sorry. It sounded for a moment like you said Elizabeth Ross. As in the Elizabeth Ross whose boyfriend made it his mission in life to kill Hulk and by Hulk I mean Bruce before he died.” Pepper’s face was draining of colour with every word Toni spoke, “As in the Elizabeth Ross whose father tricked Bruce into thinking the serum he was using on himself was to prevent gamma sickness, and not a bastardized version of the super soldier serum. The woman whose father continuously tries to kidnap Bruce to use for his sadistic little government experiments because, according to him, Bruce is no longer a human being but government property.”

Pepper was well and truly cowering now, and Toni couldn’t find it in her to feel bad just yet, “Would that be the Elizabeth Ross we’re talking about?”

Pepper nodded a bit fearfully, holding the papers close like a shield, “Yes Toni.”

“Well that’s settled then, terminate the damn contract.”

“We can’t Toni! The company’s rep—”

“I don’t give a damn about our reputation!” Angry flames licked at her pulse and she couldn’t find the ice to calm down, “Fuck reputation! That woman is not coming anywhere near Bruce Pepper!” She slammed a fist on the table, some small part of her was more worried that Bruce would leave her for his first love than by the idea of what Ross might do to him. Because Elizabeth Ross had been important to Bruce in a way that Toni had never been important to anyone. Bruce had loved the woman, freely admitted it. Bruce hadn’t even said he cared for Toni beyond this vague sense of attachment and liking, and maybe he didn’t. Toni could deal with the idea of Bruce not loving her, but she couldn’t deal with the thought of him leaving her for a woman ho’s last boyfriend had wanted to destroy him. If Bruce left with Ross he would be leaving for good.

“Toni,” Pepper’s voice was gentle, reading her perfectly like she always had, “We don’t have a choice. Everything has been signed and sealed.” Pepper sounded close to tears, “I don’t know how it slipped through, it was on my desk when Happy and I got back.”

Toni instantly felt guilty over her outburst, “Pep don’t…” this was probably the reason Pepper didn’t visit anymore. Toni was more like her father than she ever cared to admit, “It’s not your fault Pep. It was probably just a…lousy…intern.” It had been such a good day too, “When does Ross get here?”

“Tomorrow.”

Ouch. She fell back on the table, let her head crash against the metal…hard. She didn’t have enough time to ease Bruce into this, didn’t have the time to come up with reasons for Bruce to stay, or options if he was set on leaving. She wasn’t even sure if she wanted Bruce to stay, if he was here there was a bigger risk of him getting hurt.

Toni hopped off the table wearily and pulled Pepper, her face full of tears, into a hug. “I love you Pep.” She really did, she never said things like that out loud, and she could feel Pepper’s shock. “None of this is your fault, I’ve got this all under control.” She plastered on a confident smile, the type that Pepper couldn’t even see through and it felt so fake.

“Are you sure Toni?”

“Yea,” her face gave nothing away, but inside she was panicking. There was absolutely no way in hell she could handle this on her own. No. Fucking. Way. “Why don’t you get home to Happy and Thomas? I’m sure they’d be glad to have mommy home for a day.”

Toni kept a relaxed stance and the fake smile on her face until Pepper had left, kept the mask on until she was sure the woman had left. Then she broke, lashing out violently. She swept everything off her desk, delighting in the sounds of breaking and ripping as things tangled and toppled to the floor. Grease stained fingers hooked under her work table and she practically threw it, the sturdy metal connected with the floor and let out an unholy screech as it slid along the hard cement. She punched part of the wall, glass breaking and splintering into her skin, piling at her feet in a translucent mess. She stumbled back falling to the floor and leaned against the over turned table. 

Tremors wracked her body, bloody fists clenched short nails digging into her palm, driving shards of glass deeper under her skin. She waited for it to subside, dragged lungfuls of air into her body before dragging herself over to the elevator on jelly legs. 

“Jarvis,” her throat hurt, and she realized that she must have screamed sometime during her tantrum.

“Miss Stark?”

“Lock up.” 

She pushed the button to Bruce’s floor hesitantly. Her head swam with the last dregs of adrenalin, her stomach churned at each little ding that signaled she was closer to his floor. Bruce was going to be upset, and it was going to be her fault.   
By the time the elevator opened Toni was a shaking mess, looking out the open doors like she’d agreed to work with Justin Hammer. She stepped onto the floor, carpet soft and plush against her bare feet. She looked around for Bruce, was surprised to find her wasn’t in his usual places. Normally Bruce was up late reading, or doing something, he couldn’t have gone to bed could he?

“Toni?”

Tan shoulders stiffened, then slumped and she turned to face a very shirtless, very sleepy Bruce. His curly hair stuck up in a thousand conflicting directions and all he had on was a pair of snug black boxer shorts. He looked adorable. 

He moved toward her once she turned, swept he up into strong arms with a happy sound and buried his face in her curls as she relaxed against him, “What time is it?”

Brown eyes searched for a clock, and found one hanging over the TV, “It’s eleven Bruce.” She wound her arms around him, she’d already picked the glass from her hands in the elevator, “you feeling ok? You’re normally awake still.” She buried her face in his chest, let him hide her from the world.

“Yeah I just…” he smiled slowly, brushed an errant curl out of her eyes before kissing her upturned lips, “I’ve been staying up late working on projects. I guess it just caught up to me.”

“You should have had Jarvis get me. I could have helped.”

“When I asked,” he kissed her again, cupping her face in his hands carefully letting his lips roam over hers leisurely, “Jarvis said you were asleep.”

Toni sighed happily and kept her lips close to his, they brushed with every word he spoke, “I’d wake up for you.” Her fingers found their way into his hair, brushing it down and winding firmly into the graying locks.

“I wasn’t going to wake you up Toni. I really should be encouraging you to sleep, not waking you up to play around.” 

Toni rolled her eyes a bit, let him lead her to the couch behind them. He fell onto it bonelessly, stretched out comfortably on the black leather before pulling her on top of him, wrapping his arms around her and resting his cheek on the top of her head. She kissed his jaw gently, mentally winding herself up again as she struggled with a way to tell him. God she wished this was easier.

“I hear you have a new scientist coming in.” strong hands traveled up and down her back as she stiffened, “When’d you start experimenting in Betty’s field?”

She pulled back to stare at him, taking in the relaxed look in his dark eyes, how tension free he seemed as he stared back at her. How the hell had he known before she did? 

“It was in the papers Toni,” he could see the question on her face, and pulled her back to him, “I knew you’d tell me when you had the time, I’ve already had my tantrum.”

She nuzzled into his bare chest, liked the way the hair there rasped against her cheek, “I just found out today big guy.” She traced a pattern along his ribs, still a bit wary, “Tantrum?”

Bruce’s face flushed a light red, “I wasn’t…happy. I thought about leaving.” He wasn’t going to be anything less than open and honest with Toni, “But I decided,” she seemed to be choosing his words, head back against the arm rest eyes closed, “that I don’t think I could stand to be away from you Toni. I don’t want to lose all of this because of Betty.”

She ran her hands up his chest and was rewarded with a sharp inhale, “Where’s your watch Bruce?”

“Planning on changing my heart rate Toni?”

Brown met Brown, and she nodded slightly, watched as a little flecks of green began to flood into the glowing brown. Toni couldn’t help but think that the Hulk just wanted in on the action too, wanted to be part of the fun just as much as Bruce was. Toni moved closer, came to rest between his spread legs carefully, her pelvis cradled against his. They hadn’t gotten very far in the month following what she had fondly dubbed the Elevator incident, but she was trying to be patient. 

Bruce pushed that patience to the limit sometimes, especially at times like this when he looked like he’d love nothing more than to devour her, take her apart piece by piece and fit her back together strategically. Her lips traced a gentle path against his jaw, rough stubble brushed against sensitive skin, and his strong hands found their way under the back of her shirt gently. 

Calloused fingers moved to rest over his heart, feeling the steady beat speed up and flutter under her fingertips. Her lips traveled back to his as the fingers of her free hand traced a slow trail down his stomach. She loved the way he tensed and relaxed, the way he kissed back slowly and wantonly. Everything was slow and languid. . They had nowhere to be, nothing but time, they’d also found, much to their mutual delight, that they could get away with far more when they took things at a slow pace.  
Toni pulled back enough to let Bruce slide her stained wife beater from her skin. He shifted forward, placing a tender kiss over her reactor. A visible reminder that, as Pepper had once put it, Toni Stark did indeed have a heart. Warm lips moved across her skin, almost like he was worshiping her, paying attention to the curve of her shoulders, the dip of her collar. Large hands slid under the elastic of the sports bra she wore in the lab, fingers questioning, always asking before he made a move. Toni nodded, raised her arms as he slid the confining material up over her head, ruffling her curls and obscuring her vision briefly. 

Moonlight from an open window pooled along their skin, Bruce felt his breath hitch as she leaned back, giving him a front row view of her bare torso, lit up by the gleaming moonlight. He took her in, watching the light play shadows over the curves of her breasts, the dip of her ribs melting into the fullness of her hips. Her brown eyes lit up a glorious chestnut with the light from the moon pooling in them. She leaned back over him, hovering slightly, just close enough to feel their heat mingle.

She kissed him at a leisurely pace, lips memorizing the feel of his. Her wandering fingers dove into the top of his boxers carefully, high enough to tease, but low enough to promise, stroking just under the waist band as their kiss began to heat. She could feel his erection growing against her thigh and rocked into him gently, swallowing the sounds he made greedily. She wanted to touch him, wanted to hear him fall apart under her fingers. She kept on hand pressed against his heart, smiled into the kiss as one of his came to rest against her own. 

Questing fingers dipped in farther, brushing lightly against the base of his erection, hips jerked to meet them, and he moaned against her lips, letting go of her hand and propping up on his elbows to deepen the kiss. Toni took it as a sign to continue and she very slowly, giving Bruce all the time he would need to stop her, moved his boxers down his hips freeing him from the silky confines. 

He hissed through his teeth, eyes closed face light with a cinnamon blush. His heart pounded under her quivering fingers, but he continued to kiss her, mouth demanding. A careful hand moved to grip him softly the silky hard flesh in her fingers. Delighted eyes watched as he arched, head thrown back, tendons in his neck standing out as his chest heaved. Curious fingers circled the head slowly, slicking the wetness she found there around him as her hand moved in time with his measured breath. Moonlight pooled in his chest, and she could tell that he was nearing the edge of his control, knew that they’d have to stop very soon.

Toni kissed the jumping vein at his jaw, moved her hand in teasingly slow strokes, tasted the salt pooling on his skin. Time seemed to stretch into forever, seconds were hours and minutes days.

Until a strong hand grasped her wandering wrist firmly, pulling her hand away from him. His brown eyes were a dizzying mix of acid and earth, his teeth were clenched behind closed lips, and she could feel the wild beat of his heart slowing as she came forward to rest, skin to skin, against his warm chest.

“I’m sorry,” his voice cracked and he kissed along her shoulder, “It was too much…”

Toni moved to bump her cheek against his, let the stubble there scrap her skin as she nuzzled him, feeling for all the world like they’d had the best sex anyone could have ever imagined. Toni pressed against him tightly, molded her limbs to him, resting between his legs as he softened against her, fingers dragging through the hair curling on his chest while he let out rhythmic puffs of breath. She began to doze off against him, lulled by the soft rise and fall of his chest under her cheek.

“Toni,” his voice was soft in the air, and she could hear the wire of nervousness running through it. She decided that she was really done with nervous today.

“Hmmmm?” she traced patterns into his ribs once again, attention fully on Bruce, waiting to hear what he would have to say.

“I was wondering…if you wouldn’t mind,” Bruce rambled on for a few minutes and Toni smiled against his chest. He was so cute, he rambled when he was nervous, couldn’t find the right combination of words.

“Out with it Brucey,” she poked his ribs gently; “you’ve been trying to ask me for an hour now.”

“It hasn’t been anywhere near an hour Toni.”

“Hasn’t it?”

“No,” warm fingers ran through her hair, “it hasn’t.” He looked down at her seriously, “I want…I would like it if we started sharing a room.”

Holy Hell…had Bruce. Toni looked at him blankly, because Bruce wasn’t the one who went around changing the status quo, she was thrown off balance. 

“I understand if you don’t want…”

“Bruce are you kidding me? Of course I want to.”

“I…you do?” He gave her the most adorably confused look, and Toni laughed happily, the carefree sound echoing around for only them to hear.

“Yes. I do.” In fact she’d just stay there now. Toni wiggled out of her underwear, happily ignoring the wide eyed look Bruce was sending her, before tossing them somewhere and snuggling back up with Bruce. A jolt went through them when they were pressed together again, bare skin against bare skin.

“What the hell was that?”

Toni looked up at him joyfully, brown eyes crinkling at the corners, “Moving in.”


	6. Group Work

Bright patches of sparkling light filtered into the darkened room, falling to cross over Toni’s eyes perfectly. She tried her best to stay asleep, but the light was persistent and shined against her rudely. Her eyes opened slowly, blinking residual crumbs of sleep away lazily, and wincing as the sun lit them up painfully. The damn star didn’t know the meaning of consent apparently. The tiny clock resting on the nightstand by her head told her it was well past noon, and she knew she had a meeting with Ross in less than an hour, but she couldn’t really bring herself to care. Bruce was a warm weight on her skin, wrapped around her peacefully, his curly head cushioned on her stomach while the warm sun curled low on his back. It felt so….domestic lying there like this, Toni couldn’t feel the panic that should have followed that revelation, couldn’t find the spark of fear.

Lazy fingers ran through soft curls gently, nails scratched gently and a slow smile curled across her face when he snuggled closer into her skin. Toni sighed and reluctantly untangled her fingers from his hair before, miracle of miracles, wiggling out from under Bruce without waking him up. She picked up one of his shirts as she left the room, buttoning it swiftly as she padded through the living room. Bruce’s floor smelt of incense, tea, and deserts. It was heady combination when she was awake, but right after waking up? Sinful. She looked around the living room, quietly cracking her knuckles as she moved along.

“Jarvis.”

“Miss. Stark?”

She pulled on the sweatpants she’d been wearing the night before, hopping around as she struggled to pull them up her resisting legs, “I need you to call the Avengers, sans Brucie, to the common floor, we gotta talk about our new guest before I go to meet her.”

“You’re referring to Dr. Ross I take?”

“Who else Jarvis?” She slid into the elevator and hit the button irritably. She wanted to be in bed with Bruce. “Restrict her access to her floor and the science levels only. She’s not to have access to any of the Avenger’s personal floors, nor is she to have access to any of the labs Bruce and I use. If Bruce is in an area she has access to don’t let her in until he’s gone.”

“You don’t find that a bit constricting Miss. Stark?”

“Nooooope,” the numbers above the door lit up slowly as she chewed her lip into a bloody mess, “Nothing’s too drastic Jarvis.”

“As you wish Miss. Stark.”

Toni walked out slowly, the familiar sounds of camaraderie greeted her from somewhere out of sight. She padded over nervously; Cap usually ordered everyone around, and Toni had no idea if they’d be keen to listen to her orders, but she was willing to give it a shot. The second she rounded the corner all their banter stopped. Steve stood at attention leaning against the couch near Nat who’s eyes honed in on Toni smoothly; Clint sat next to her and he Toni intently when he saw her, Thor stood near the counter box of pop tarts clutched tightly in one of his massive hands, blue eyes focusing on her in a friendly way as he waved jovially. 

“What’s going on Toni?” Steve moved toward her, his tone was grave but his eyes were friendly. “Jarvis said it was urgent.”

She dragged her toes across the floor awkwardly, suddenly wishing she’d sent a missive to Steve so he could take care of this. Toni didn’t know how to give orders, or even how to talk about this without possibly sounding controlling.

Thor’s massive hands came down on her shoulder’s gently, and he looked up to find that he’d moved to stand before her, “Fear not Toni, whatever you need to say you can say freely,” ocean eyes crinkled as he smiled reassuringly, “we are all here friends. If you have a matter of importance we will support you in it.”

Toni relaxed under his hands, she kept forgetting how wise Thor actually was, sure he didn’t know much about technology or more complicated things, but he was the heir to Asguard and he was more than a dumb blonde.

“It’s about Dr. Ross. I just….” Toni shrugged, “We need to talk about her being here and all.”

“We beat you to the punch Toni,” Clint moved to sit on the arm of the couch, smiling as he perched, “We already talked about it.”

“Wait….” She frowned a bit, “you did? When?”

“Just a bit earlier,” Steve smiled warmly, “we knew you were going to want to talk about it and all of us,” he made an encompassing motion with his arms, “decided that we’d just go with what you had to say on the matter.”

“That’s it? No…negotiating, no arguing just what I say goes?” What alternate reality had she just stumbled into? Maybe Deadpool was right and there were different realities, or his theory about the invisible bubbles taking over had come to pass.

“You know him better than we do Stark,” Nat flipped on of her knives calmly, “I think it’s fair to say you know better than we do on these matters.”

Thor smiled and squeezed her shoulders, “We are more than glad to help the two of you out. Your romance is most exhilarating and I will do what is necessary to ensure the safety of all my shield brothers.”

“Alright……” Toni clapped her hands a bit more sure of herself, “I’ve restricted her access to the civilian labs, and the floors that have nothing to do with us. She shouldn’t be on any of your personal floors or in the common area. If she tries to get into those areas just tell her to go away.”

The team nodded listening to Toni intently, and honestly she was a bit floored by that kind of trust. Cap was supposed to be the leader of this ragtag bunch, and here she was giving out orders smoothly. 

It was kind of fun being in charge though, “Really she shouldn’t be around us much, and her area of work really has nothing to do with us. Nat,” she looked over to the spy, tone no longer light, “something about this whole thing screams set up to me.”

The redhead nodded slowly, “I’ve thought about that as well. A contract this important gets signed without the CEO or owner knowing, and it just so happens to put Dr. Ross in close quarters with Banner?” she sheathed the knife she’d been fiddling with, “I don’t believe in small coincidences let alone one this big.”

“Agreed. I need you to keep an eye on her. You and Clint can do your master spy thing and do some digging.”

Thor spoke up from his corner, “How do we keep Rossdaughter away from Dr. Banner? It seems most troublesome to have them interact on a frequent basis.”

“Toni can keep him busy,” Steve crossed his arms blue eyes serious, “they do most of their projects together.”

“Not all the time,” Toni sat down and glanced between her fellow avengers, “here’s the thing though guys…if Bruce wants to hang around Ross I’m not going to stop him.”

Heavy silence filled the room and Toni looked at them a bit confused. What the helllll? They’d been game until now, what had changed?

“Mayhap you are not sure of what you say,” Thor smiled kindly, “obviously you do not want Dr. Banner around Rossdaughter.”

“Wasn’t this whole meeting about keeping her away from him?” Clint shot an arrow sharp look, “You don’t get take backsies on the whole meeting Toni.”

“No…guys…” she resisted the urge to bury her face in her hands, “You don’t get it. I’m not telling Bruce what he can and can’t do. If Bruce wants to go see her fine. He’s a big boy and I’m not going to choose who he hangs out with like some PTA mom.” She slumped back into her seat, “I just don’t want her seeking him out. Him seeing her? I can’t stop that; honestly I wouldn’t try to stop it if I could. Bruce isn’t in a cage, I’m not his owner.”

The three men gave her incredulous looks, but Nat’s eyes met hers with an understanding smile. Thank god for the other double X, “Toni’s right. We keep Ross from seeking Bruce out, but Bruce can do as he pleases. It’s Ross we’re wary of, not Bruce. If we start trying to control Bruce he’s going to freak out.” 

“What of her plot,” Thor looked at them, “how do we uncover her purpose for being here? I feel that it is not to aid Dr. Banner in any way.”

“That’s Nat’s job,” Toni looked at them, “Look guys, I could just be paranoid, she honestly could just be here for research and nothing more.” Yeah, and Toni was a 4th grade science teacher. 

“Innocent purposes or not, Bruce is likely to get hurt.” Steve looked at Toni blue eyes filled to the brim with worry, “Look, I’ve read the files, she was engaged to Bruce then after the accident she started fondue-ing with some guy who was trying to kill him. That’s bad enough, but to add to that, her father’s the General that thinks he owns Bruce because he managed to coerce him into trying out the super soldier serum,” Toni was surprised at how Steve Rogers, Captain Flag up his all American ass, said General. It rolled out of his mouth like a curse, “General Ross could be putting her up to this. Every time he comes up in a government interview he insists that Bruce is dangerous and belongs to the government.”

Toni’s shoulders slumped a bit helplessly, “Yeah and that’s all putting everything nicely. Ross is fucking crazy, he already has a vendetta against me.”

“Wait, how does Ross know you?” Clint zoned in on her, “The only reason you’d know him is because of weapons manufacturing, and you’ve stopped that. You never had contracts with him either.”

“He recruited me to go after Hulk,” stunned silence met her proclamation, “I agreed, at the time all I knew was this big, green, gamma thing was jumping around causing problems.”

Steve looked concerned, “Does Bruce know about that?”

“Yup,” Toni smiled a bit, “I’m not that much of an asshole Steve, I told him after we met.”

“If this Ross man was of mind to have you chase Dr. Banner,” Thor spoke slowly, “why did you not comply? You say you found him to be a danger, yet you did not try to stop him.”

Toni smirked easily and cracked her knuckles, “I wanted to know what had happened so I hacked into Ross’ files and found out what really went down. I leaked the paperwork and he lost a star or something.”

“Sooo let’s get this straight,” Clint was smirking gleefully, “not only did you shove his own idiocy in his face you’re now publicly harboring his catnip?”

“Oh yes,” Toni’s mood picked up with Clint’s tone, “in fact the last time I saw him he had some really nice poetry prepared for me.”

Steve shook his head, “Nothing is ever boring with you is it?”

“Nooooope.”

“Back to the point, we’re going to keep her the hell away from Bruce,” Clint flipped one of his arrows carefully, “doesn’t really matter how we do it.”

“We shall miss direct Rossdaughter in her comings and goings,” Thor smiled proudly, “if she is not sure of her direction then she cannot cause any harm.”

They continued along animatedly; outlining all the ways they were going to keep Ross away from Bruce. Toni smirked a bit at what a surprise the woman was in for. The Avengers had all come to the agreement that Dr. Ross wasn’t to be trusted, and that they’d all keep her away from Bruce by any means necessary. Everyone had come to care for the passive scientist; none of them were willing to see him hurt.

Toni glanced over at a clock and stood up slowly, “She’s already here guys. I gotta go introduce myself or some shit like that.”

“Give her hell Toni,” Clint pointed an arrow at her, “I can hide in the rafters as backup.”

“No thanks birdie,” Toni stretched languidly and made her way back to the elevator, “I got this.”

“You’re going to meet her wearing that?” Steve gave her an odd look, “Toni you’re practically in pajamas.”

“Not practically Steve,” she smirked and walked to the elevator, “I am in pajamas.”


	7. Mea Culpa

There really was something to be said for having enough confidence to meet your boyfriend’s ex-lover in pajamas. Toni had never lacked outward confidence, never faltered in the knowledge that she was damn sexy. In this case her confidence was more than her looks, Bruce was with her. He’d chosen Toni, with all her problems and depression and faults. So no, she didn’t need to dress up in her expensive clothes and try to show she was better than Dr. Ross, she just was better. 

“Miss. Stark, you’re nearly a half hour late for your meeting with Dr. Ross.”

“Oh goody,” a petty smile curled over her face at the thought of the woman having to wait for her, “thanks for the heads up Jarvis.”

She strode into the room confidently, only to have that confidence crash like the Hindenburg at the sight of the woman before her. Dr. Ross was…fucking stunning. Long brown hair was a stark contrast to pale skin and violet eyes, the straight locks fell across slim shoulders leading downward from her tall frame to a slender body encased in a beautiful pantsuit cut just so. Toni cringed on the inside, how could she possibly compete with this woman, even in nice clothing let alone a pair of Bruce’s pants and a tee-shirt? 

She plastered on her best media smile and slumped into the chair across from Dr. Ross, keeping up a feigned air of nonchalance. Toni was a master at pretenses, and she was pretty sure the woman across from her couldn’t tell that a panic attack was building inside Toni. She was a short little troll compared to this woman, how the hell had she thought this would work out in her favor?

“Good afternoon Dr. Ross, I’m Toni Stark and I’ve been told you’ll be working for my company for a while.” 

Ross flashed her a stunning smile, “My contract was approved recently, I’m going to be helping your company with its gamma research, you have the best facilities in the world, and I wanted to help contribute to the research that your company puts out every day.”

The woman’s little speech felt a little practiced to Toni, the pauses and words were too well timed. Though to be fair waiting for half an hour to see someone like Toni could definitely make you want to practice what you were going to say, but it did nothing to dispel Toni’s suspicions.

“Well Doctor, we’re glad to have you as part of the team,” Toni was pretty sure she’d rather work with Loki and Hammer at the same time, “we hope that your research is helpful and contributes to the information and data we put out for the public.”

“Oh I hope so too!” The words left the woman in a rush and she practically leaned over the table in her enthusiasm. Dr. Ross looked at Toni almost bashfully and leaned back slowly, “I know this is a bit inappropriate, but I was wondering if Dr. Richard Banner still worked here, I used to be friends with him, and I heard that he was staying here.”

“Richard……?” Toni looked at the woman blankly. Did she mean….

“Oh,” Dr. Ross looked apologetic, “You might know him as Bruce.”

Toni could feel her smile slip into a thin annoyed line, no one called Bruce by his first name. Hell the only reason she knew it was because it was on his S.H.E.I.L.D files. Bruce abso-fucking-lutely hated his father and by extension his given name.

“Ok,” Toni clapped her hands, “rule one don’t call him Richard.” Toni barely kept her face straight at the shocked look plastered to Dr. Ross’ face, “Dr. Banner is part of my team, but he prefers to work alone. You also aren’t going to call him Richard. He fucking hates it.”

“I didn’t…I used to….”

Toni cut her off, “Rule two you only have access to floors pertaining to you. Which means your labs and your room, mayyyyybe a couple others. You are not allowed on the housing floors of any of the Avengers, nor are you allowed into any of my personal labs. You probably won’t see much of Bruce.” 

Dr. Ross gaped at her and Toni gave her a viscous smile in response, “Rule three. Don’t lie to me again.”

The woman across from her coloured deeply and her violet eyes narrowed, “I never lied to you Miss. Stark.”

“You know damn well Bruce lives here. It’s been all over the papers. Let me make something crystal clear to you, I don’t trust you. I don’t like the fact that you’re here, the only reason I didn’t terminate your contract instantly is because my C.E.O convinced me that it was a bad idea. If you do anything that even remotely seems like it will hurt Bruce I’m not only going to fire you, but I will make it so that you are blacklisted from every lab pertaining to your field in this hemisphere. Possibly even both hemispheres if I really feel like it. And before you tell me I can’t do that I really can. No company wants to run the risk of making enemies’ with mine, except for Justin Hammer and you are more than welcome to go work with him.”

“What have I done to deserve this type of treatment Miss. Stark?”

“You want the list or the spark notes?” Toni picked up a file sitting on the desk and made a show of leafing through it, “You dated, and were also briefly engaged to a man whose mission in life was to capture and kill Bruce, you tried to aid that man, also your father is kind of a douche. So forgive me if your track record isn’t very promising.”

Dr. Ross gave her an affronted look but remained silent, glaring at Toni will ill-concealed anger, “Is that all Miss. Stark?”

Toni stood, every inch the genius businesswoman she’d grown up to be, “This is my company Dr. Ross, I’ll do whatever it takes to keep it running. Moreover this is my home, and I will do whatever I have to in order to keep it and my friends safe.”  
Ross fumed from her chair, and Toni watched gleefully as Ross grit her teeth and nodded in recognition of Toni’s words.

Time to rub salt into the wound.

“And for the record, Bruce is my boyfriend, and I’ll do whatever it takes to keep him happy.” Toni smirked gleefully at the dumbfounded expression on Ross’ face, “Yes you heard me right. Boyfriend. So see to it that you don’t so anything stupid Doctor; I meant what I said.”

Toni turned, giving a lazy wave of dismissal as she left the room, she kept her chin held high and her back straight, only allowing herself to slump when she was safely in the elevator heading back to the floor she shared with Bruce. 

“How’d I do Jarvis?”

“It was not terrible Miss Stark, though I do not think Dr. Banner will appreciate how rude you were.”

Toni snorted, “Have you met me? I’m always rude. I just didn’t bother using any of my small supply of tact on her.” Toni cracked her knuckles nervously, Bruce probably would be miffed. “Hey Jarvis has the rest of the stuff for the room come in?”

“Not quite Miss. Stark, there’s still a small shipment of adimantium on the way.”

Toni nodded and ran through the blue prints in her head, “Alright, be sure to tell me when they come in Jarvis.”

“Of course Miss. Stark.”

She snuck off the elevator quietly, and looked around the open space for Bruce hoping he wouldn’t still be asleep. She padded down the hallway mentally worn out from the meeting with Dr. Ross. The tower may have been a “great big ugly building,” to some, but to Toni it was home, and now she’d have to constantly be on her guard inside her safe space.

“You look like hell Toni.” strong wrapped his arms around her gently from behind before Bruce nuzzled into her hair softly, “I think you stress yourself out too much.”

Toni smiled and sank into his embrace, “I was busy. It’s what I do Brucey.”

“Busy meeting with Betty?”

Toni stiffened a bit and looked up at him, “Who. The hell. Do you pay for your information?”

He kissed her softly, strong hands cupping her face as he lips roamed against hers firmly, letting her know she wasn’t going anywhere until he had gotten his fill of her. He pulled back a few moments later, smirking slightly at the dazed look on her face, “Jarvis told me. I was looking for you earlier Toni.” His eyes turned serious and he brushed a stray curl from her face tenderly, “You know I’m going to have to work with her quite often right?”

“Why would you need to?” She resolutely ignored the tightening in her stomach, “You’ve got me.” She really couldn’t deal with that reality right now, especially not after seeing the woman.

“Be that as it may Toni she knows more about gamma radiation.”

That stung a bit, and she had no idea why; Ross did have more knowledge on gamma and experimentation with it. She twisted her fingers in her shirt agitatedly, she was supposed to be Bruce’s science buddy, she was the one who worked with him on all his experiments. Not Ross. She knew she was being irrational, but she didn’t want Bruce to think that Dr. Ross was better than Toni at anything. 

“You’ve gotten along just fine with me.”

“I could get more done with Betty.”

That actually hurt, cut her in the small part of her that needed to prove her worth. She’d never been good enough for her father. Now she wasn’t good enough for Bruce?

“What more do you need to get done?” Her voice rose defensively, and she knew that getting angry with Bruce did her no good, but damn it she couldn’t take this right now from Bruce. 

“Toni,” his tone was just shy of exasperated, “Betty and I can get more done on the cure. Betty was there when the accident happened, she was part of the research that created the Hulk, and maybe she can help me get rid of him.”

“Why do you need to get rid of him,” She felt protective of The Green Bean. He’d saved her life before, and she felt that letting Betty fucking Ross get rid of him was a shit way to repay him, “Look Hulk isn’t anything you need to be afraid of. He’s helped us out more than once.”

“Toni you only think that because you don’t have to deal with the mess after,” his normally soft eyes were hard and resolute, he wasn’t touching her anymore; she clenched her fists at her sides to keep from reaching out to him. “You can’t help me get rid of him, and Betty can.”

“What makes you think that?” Her chest was tightening painfully and she was feeling oddly nauseous as her brain let the anxiety grow in her. “I’m a hell of a better scientist than she is. Do you see all the shit around you? I am damn good. We haven’t come up with a cure yet because we haven’t stumbled across the right goddamned formula!”

Bruce’s skin was starting to tinge green, like small patches of moss blooming around his skin and bleeding into his eyes. Toni couldn’t help but think that this wasn’t how she had wanted to spend her afternoon. She’d wanted to cuddle up with him, or work on projects. Betty hadn’t even officially started working yet and they were already fighting because of her.

“Why can’t you just admit that you’re not amazing at everything Toni? Why does everything have to be about you? I want Betty’s help for me Toni. This isn’t about you and you wanting to play games and try to get me to Hulk out. This is about me needing to be responsible and take care of a problem I caused. Act like an adult for once.”

“I don’t just try to make you hulk out you asshat!” Toni kicked the wall, letting the anger take her words from heated to shouting, “I help you all the goddamned time! Half of the research I do now is for you!”

“I don’t need you for this Toni,” he was shouting right back and his words stabbed her. “You only make this problem worse! You’re a child about everything, and you constantly try to goad me into changing! How is that helping Toni?!”

Oh…..Silence followed his words, and Toni wilted under the weight of it. She really made it worse? She made life more difficult for him? Which really mean that she was constantly…..hurting…him. Her eyes burned painfully, her chest felt hollow. If her reactor wasn’t there she’d have though her heart was gone.

Toni stared at him, before lowering her eyes to the floor, “Well it’s a good thing you have Betty then isn’t it.” She couldn’t manage to bring her words above a bitterly, sorrowful rasp, “You two can go be responsible adults together,” a protective blanket of rage engulfed her and she kicked a book out of the way before grabbed her wallet from the hall table, resolutely refusing to look at him the entire time, “Since I’m such a fucking child I’ll just go out and leave the responsible adults alone, since you know,” Toni grit her teeth, stuffing the wallet in a pocket, “Everything is about me!” She swore under her breath as tears dripped down her face, to splash messily at her feet.

The green wasn’t fading from his skin but he reached for her, “Toni…”

“No,” she smacked his hand out of the way and made her way over to the elevator, tears dripping to the floor like a trail of crumbs. “Fuck you Bruce. Have fun being responsible. Hell maybe after you’re “normal” you can finally get away from me and get with Ross again,” a bitter laugh that sounded too much like a sob for her liking burst from her throat, “wouldn’t that be great?”

“Toni…” his voice was little more than a growl, and when she looked back over her shoulder she could tell he was on the verge of hulking out, she could hear the seams in his clothing start to rip, and the beautiful brown eyes that she loved so much were swallowed up with green.

“You need to wear your heart monitor, we made it for a reason didn’t we?” Her voice was dull, and she knew that she just couldn’t stay right now, “Dr. Ross is on the 8th floor if you want to start working right away,” Toni pushed the button roughly, “you have access to the floor. I’ll be back tonight. Or not, that might be too responsible of me.” Toni closed the elevator on him, not caring if he lost control. She needed a drink.

She slammed her head back onto the metal panel, heels of her hands pressed against her eyes tightly. God she felt awful, felt sick to her stomach for being the one to cause this. She was always the one to cause his problems, she thought she was helping but she was just making it worse. 

She choked back sobs, grit her teeth against the pain. It wasn’t fair that he could say those things and leave her feeling like trash. Wasn’t fair that they were fighting over something so fucking stupid. Wasn’t fair that she couldn’t have stopped pushing, couldn’t control her jealousy.

She drove to a little dive bar in some shady ass part of New York and threw herself into a chair to begin nursing numerous glasses of whiskey. Her fingers clutched at the dingy glass like a lifeline and she knew this did absolutely nothing to help, but the alcoholic in her told the rational side to shut the fuck up. 

With every sip and every refill Toni came to hate herself more, came to loath that she’d pushed Bruce so far. She shot the rest of the amber liquid, tapping the bar for another. Bruce hated her drinking, she knew why, knew about his father; didn’t it really just ice the cake that she’d made him Hulk out then gone to get shit faced?  
“Thought I’d find you here.” Toni stiffened as Steve sat down beside her, and she began to mentally prepared herself for the put down of the century, but he just calmly ordered a brandy and stared at the counter thoughtfully.

“Here to offer moral support Spangles?” She shot back the whiskey relishing the burn as it scorched a path down her throat.

“Actually yes,” he sipped his drink slowly, blue eyes taking the bar in quietly, “Bruce was pretty upset, and from what Jarvis showed me—”

“Jarvis fucking showed you?!”

Steve hushed her quietly before continuing, “From what Jarvis showed me it wasn’t actually your fault. Sure you could have been a bit more level headed,” he rubbed her back comfortingly, “but Bruce got nasty before you did.”

“I’m not so sure about that. I think it was my fault,” Toni couldn’t meet his eyes, “just...I’m poison Steve,” maybe it was the alcohol or maybe she really was just afraid, “I’m no good for anyone. Hell I’m sitting in a bar when I should be at home trying to fix this.”

“I think you’re being too hard on yourself. This isn’t an easy thing to deal with Toni. For anyone. No one wants to have their boyfriend’s ex living with them, and no one wants to hear that their boyfriend would rather work with their ex than them for any reason.”

“Why are you on my side about this?”

Steve pulled her close to his side, rubbing her back gently as she soaked in his warmth, “You know I was absolutely jealous of your dad?”

“….What?” Toni wasn’t completely sure she wanted to know where this was going.

“I was. I thought he and Peggy were sleeping together and I hated it. I didn’t even bother to take the time to figure out what fondue really was, I just thought they were sleeping together.”

Toni smiled despite herself, “Seriously? Fondue?”

“Yup,” he laughed softly, smiling jovially as he spoke “I was jealous of Peggy’s husband too when I found out. I had absolutely no reason to be. But she was my number one girl, and in the back of my mind we were still going to go dancing, and I absolutely hated her husband.”

“Really?” Her drink was completely forgotten.

“Really. That’s the thing about all this Toni, it’s not rational. I had no reason to be jealous, she’s not mine. You know Bruce isn’t going to leave you for Dr. Ross. You just can’t help but feel jealous because you care. You care and you can’t stand the idea of losing him because you know that if he goes you’ll lose a piece of yourself too.”

Her eyes filled up with tears and she buried her face in his shirt like a dumb high school kid, “I…I think I love him……And I don’t know what to do…” she didn’t want Steve to know this, didn’t want anyone to see her emotions but she was so terrified that she’d lost him. “I’ve never been first to anyone. I wasn’t the son my father wanted, I wasn’t the drink my mother wanted, I wasn’t anything more than quick money to people I’ve slept with. I don’t know how relationships are supposed to be Steve. I have maybe two good memories of my dad. My mom and he were never really faithful to each other, they were always drunk. How am I supposed to do this?” 

Steve sighed, “Because you’re Toni Stark, the smartest person I’ve ever known, and if you can’t do this then what hope is there for the rest of us?”

Toni stared into her cup, “He told me he didn’t need me….”

“Then he lied. Bruce needs you Toni.”

Toni dug her nails into the dirty, wooden bar top silently. Her chest still hurt and she wasn’t nearly drunk enough for feelings, “Drive me home?”

He smiled warmly, “I figured you’d ask.” 

Steve drove them back carefully, taking long winding routes until she had visibly calmed down enough that he felt confident taking her home. Clint was waiting for her in the hall, hearing aid absent for the night; he pulled her into a crushing hug and began to sign so quickly and angrily that she could barely keep up with him.

Toni signed back a bit sluggishly, telling him that she was fine and she really didn’t need him to assassinate anyone tonight Thank.You.Very.Much. The three of them stood in the hall, signing back and forth until she had mustered up enough gumption to head back to face Bruce. Even with all the mental preparation the elevator ride didn’t seem long enough, and all too soon she was back on her floor, walking toward their room. 

She opened the door quietly, the only light in their room came from the open window near the bed. It took a few moments for her eyes to adjust enough to spot Bruce sitting on the edge of the bed, head resting in his hands, shoulders slumped. His curly hair was a wild mess, and he was still wearing the pants from earlier only now they sported rips and tears all over. 

Seeing him like this made her want to cry all over again, because they’d done this to each other. They’d taken little knives and stabbed themselves repeatedly over a woman who didn’t even fucking matter, over something as simple as him needing to work with another expert in his field. 

She shuffled over to the bed nervously, nearly stopping when his head popped up at the noise. He was up in an instantly, pulling her close and burring his face in her curls as they collapsed to the floor together. They clung to each other, and Toni started crying when he began to whisper sorry over and over into her skin, shaking messily as he held her tightly. 

“I didn’t mean it Toni,” she could hear the hitch in his voice, “I didn’t. I need you Toni. So much, I didn’t know what I was going to do, I thought you’d walked away for good and it was my fault.”

Shaking hands gripped his jaw, pulled him in for a wet kiss, all desperation and tears. She clutched at his back desperately as he let out a low sound and kissed her back roughly. He pulled back to wipe away the tears streaming down her face with the pads of his thumbs. Bruce leaned in and kissed them away gently, warm lips soft against her face.

He buried his face in her shoulder, “I’m sorry.” His voice was muffled into her skin and she ran her fingers through his greying hair gently before wrapping her arms around him as well.

“We both are I think. We just….Bruce I don’t want to fight you,” her eyes were burning again, and her throat was too tight, “I just want us to be happy, I want you to be happy.”

He looked up at her, brown eyes shiny in the dim light, “I am happy with you Toni.”

She shook her head a bit, wound her fingers into his curls tightly, “It seemed like I only hurt you, I fucking made you hulk out Bruce.”

“No.” he grasped her hand sin his, kissing each finger gently, “I hulked out because I was…so angry at myself. God Toni,” sorrowful eyes met hers, “the look on your face just……I honestly think you would have looked happier if I stabbed you. Then you were crying and I just….I did that. I didn’t mean anything I said, Toni honestly I’ve never been happier. I was the one that over reacted. I just feel like….” What sounded like a sob broke his voice. She kissed him slowly, before pulling back just far enough for him to speak, “I could be so close to a cure, and I know that if you asked me I’d never look for it again.”

“I don’t want you to get rid of the Hulk. Bruce I owe him. I owe him my ass like ten times over. This is your choice however, I’m not making it for you.”

“There’s so much we can’t do because of the Hulk. Not even just in the short term Toni. We might never have sex, we can’t have children.”

Toni gave him a dumbfounded look, “What force of incorrectness on this floating rock gave you the idea that I would want children? Bruce I can’t keep houseplants alive! As fox sex,” She ran her hands up his chest softly, let his warmth ground her, “it’s not that we can’t. We’ve come fairly close, we just haven’t quite figured it out yet.”

He let out a wet laugh, strong hands running up under her shirt to trace the bare skin of her back, “We’re in our 30’s I would hope that we understand how to have sex by now.”

She shook her head softly and smacked him playfully, “I think I have more practice at that than you do. That’s not what I meant anyway, we just need to work at it.”

His eyes shadowed with guilt and he tugged at one of her curls gently, “I want to give you more than that Toni. I want you to have more than trying to figure out how everything works, and having to worry about getting hurt.”

“Hulk isn’t going to hurt me. You aren’t going to hurt me. Bruce I understand why you want this cure, I really do, but I don’t trust Dr. Ross. I can’t. I will not trust her with your well being Bruce. I don’t think I can carry on without you anymore either, I thought you were going to leave me and I honestly don’t think I’ve ever been in more pain. I can’t do it. I can’t let you leave me.”

His eyes softened, strong fingers ran across her face warmly, “Then don’t.”


	8. It's Not Just in My Head

Toni was getting real fucking done with Dr. Ross really fucking quick. No matter how had everyone tried to keep it from happening, Ross was around Bruce all the time. For once in her life Toni wasn't exaggerating, it was all the fucking time. In the past month since the woman had moved in Toni had seen Bruce alone, outside of sleeping in the same bed, a grand total of eight times. To add insult to injury it didn't even seem like Ross' fault. Bruce was the one seeking her out, and Bruce was the one having them stay up. Toni was pretty damn sure that the two of them weren't even working on anything, and she honestly had half a mind to separate them to make sure something actually got done. Catching up with each other was fine and cool, but only if they actually did science sometime in between, and in actuality they weren’t doing shit.

She didn’t even want to admit to herself just how much of a toll the whole thing was taking on her. She was fairly certain her and Bruce had juuuust barely scraped through their first fight about Ross, and she was loathe to start another; but she really wasn’t doing well with the practical separation from Bruce. She wasn't sleeping well, was barely eating, she'd been drinking again and she could feel the black edges of depression creeping up on her. The time she spent working with Steve or playing pranks with Clint and Thor, wasn't helping much either. It kept the feelings away while she was with them, but she couldn't monopolize their time twenty four seven. When they weren’t around she’d fallen back into the habit of locking herself in her lab for hours and days on end before crawling out too exhausted to do anything but sleep, which wouldn’t come to her without a fight.

So there she was in the kitchen, pushing lank curls out of tired eyes and washing the dishes…by hand. She was so tired and lonely that she was doing chores. The print on the cup became a bit fuzzy and she had to grip the counter as a wave of exhaustion washed over her, she was slowly creeping up on the limit of how much sleep she could go without before she shut down.

“Good morning Miss. Stark.”

Toni nearly threw the fucking cup at the wall. The only thing that stopped her was the fact that it was Clint’s and he would hound her forever if she broke his mug. So she grit her teeth and forced herself to be polite, “Good morning Miss. Ross, I trust your work is going well."

Toni turned to see the woman beam happily, "It is. Your facilities are absolutely amazing. I really wanted to thank you for hiring me."

Toni shrugged, not really caring that they were playing nice after the incident when they met, and turned back to the dishes, "You're one of the best. I like having the best. It made sense."

"Actually if you don't mind," Betty came and leaned against the counter next to the sink. Toni's mouth filled with the bitter taste of envy at how radiant the woman looked. Her violet eyes were vibrant and her long hair fell arrestingly around slim shoulders that led to a perfect body. Toni knew she looked rumpled on a good day, but right now she was fairly certain she looked like something that had been dragged kicking and screaming out of a sewer. 

“Miss Stark?”

“Huh..?” Her head rose from her soapy hands sluggishly and she realized the woman had asked her something and she’d completely missed it.

"I asked if you could tell me why you're called Toni? Bruce told me that your first name is Natasha and I couldn't figure out how you got Toni from that."

Her brown eyes glued themselves back to the dishes, and she answered almost mechanically, “My full name is Natasha Antoinette. My father wanted a son and he didn't get one, so he called me Toni. I like it better than both my legal names anyway, but I could never legally change it because it wasn't powerful enough for the owner and CEO of one of the biggest companies in the world. Especially since I’m a woman and it’s already hard enough to get men in the Science field to take women seriously.”

Toni really hated being so nice, she didn’t really know why she was being so nice either. Maybe for Bruce’s sake? Because Toni hated giving out personal information, hated for people to see under the surface, but she was just so tired. She didn't have the energy to tell the woman to piss off.

"Oh I see," Ross watched her pensively, "Why did you stick with it? It doesn't seem like a very nice nickname if your father gave it to you because he wanted a son. Didn't he just want you? My father never minded that I’m a woman."

Something inside Toni snapped sharply, leaving jagged little edges to poke at her insides, as pathetic as it was she'd never gotten over her daddy issues, never gotten over her inability to please him just because she was a woman, never gotten over that fact that if he had stayed sober he still wouldn’t have loved her.

“Of course he didn’t want me didn’t you hear a word I just fucking said?” her voice was sharp, and her tongue tasted bitter with the words soaking out of it, “I’m so glad,” she really wasn’t, “that your father wanted you. But mine never wanted me, and he made that abundantly clear.” Sharp brown eyes met wide violet orbs, “Now don't you have something more important to be doing then bugging me about things that have nothing to do with you? Your work for example? Hmmm?”

Toni felt sick to her stomach, the woman didn’t even look angry. She was just giving Toni a look of pure pity. The same type of look you gave starving orphans and abused puppies on tv and Toni hated it. Toni dropped the cup in the sink, not even wincing when it shattered and stormed out of the kitchen, mood only growing darker when she realized that Betty Ross shouldn't have even been able to get into the Avenger's kitchen.

"Jarvis!" Her voice ricocheted off the walls sharply, she refused to note how shrill she sounded, or how tired, or how hollow. She was a big fucking mess....so sue her.

"Miss Stark?"

"How the fuck did Ross get access to the fucking kitchen that I use," she slammed open the door to the room she shared with Bruce and surprise, surprise their room was empty. 

"Dr. Banner gave her access; I didn't think you would wish me to argue with him."

Of course he did. Toni fought the overwhelming urge to curl up in a ball and cry, “It’s fine Jarvis.”

She sank onto the bed, head cradled in her hands gently. She was so tired and lonely, Toni could practically feel the depression she’d always hidden from crawling up her spine. She wanted to scream and break things, but she knew if Bruce were to walk in this very second she’d put on the happiest face she could manage and pretend everything was okay. She really couldn’t stand the thought of upsetting him, and she knew it was unhealthy to keep going on like this, but she felt trapped. 

Toni really had no idea what she was doing, but she'd seen other people in good relationships. Pepper and Happy, Steve and that little blonde waitress he'd saved who worked down the street, hell even Clint and Nat had a healthier relationship then she'd ever been in. She couldn't even be upset with Bruce because she was the one holding back, Bruce told her how he felt, he let her know when something was wrong. Toni was so afraid of fucking this up that she only let him think she was happy, even when she was falling apart.

Shaking hands managed to pull her curls into a messy pony tail and she pulled on a clean pair of clothes before grabbing her keys off the bedside table.

“I’m going out Jarvis.”

“Where to Miss. Stark?”

“I don’t know,” she looked at her keys for a few moments and shook her head, “If anyone asks,” she knew no one would bother asking where she was, “I’ll be back later tonight.” 

“As you wish.”

She managed to make it to the garage without passing out, and hopped into the car that lit up when she fiddled with the keys. Her forehead came to rest against the cool leather of the steering wheel as she tried to figure out where the hell she could go.  
Rhodes was deployed again, and she wasn't really sure if Pepper would want her around Thomas when she felt like this. She gripped the wheel tightly, knuckles stark white against the black leather. Nat and Clint were gone, Thor was with Jane, Steve was running, Bruce was busy. She had no one. The black edges of depression gripped her again. She was completely alone. She had no one to turn to, and she couldn't blame anyone but herself. She was poison and the relationships she formed never lasted long on a personal level.

Her breath came in short gasps, and she wasn’t fully cognizant of the fact that she was hyperventilating until she was on the floor of the garage, dizzy and clutching her chest. What the hell was wrong with her? Toni manages to scoot herself over to lean against the wall, and grit her teeth against the emotional pain. 

Ross just had to open that can of worms. Somewhere inside her Toni knew her father had loved her, knew he had wanted the best for her, but that knowledge was buried under countless yelling matches, countless nights where her father was so drunk he called her Steve and vowed to find her.

Sobs pushed their way from her chest roughly as she made her way toward the elevator on wobbly legs. She leaned against the cool metal, body shaking, only vaguely aware that Bruce had almost hulked out in this elevator.

She looked at him then at the elevator panel, and was cut off by him pinning her to the wall gently, grinning from ear to ear the entire time.

The memory took over slowly, vivid enough to help her focus, just enough to help her breathe. She could feel her lips tingle with the ghost of kisses.

Bruce looked at her eyes fierce and serious, "Toni honestly I've never been happier." 

Scarred, shaking fingers stabbed the button for Bruce’s lab almost unknowingly. She needed Bruce. Needed him to hold her, and tell her that everything was going to be ok in that stupid soothing Zen voice he had. It was so out of character for her, but she knew she needed him. More than alcohol, more than her image, more than her pride. She needed Bruce. The depression would come back, the urge to drink would follow, but if she played her cards right, if she really gave this her all then maybe Bruce would always be there to fix it. That had to be worth giving up some of her pride and admitting weakness.

“Jarivs,” her throat was tight, and she had to clear it a couple times to form words, “I’m not going out. Is Bruce in his lab?”

Yes Miss. Stark. He's talking with Dr. Ross."

She fought back the black, fought back jealousy and everything else; simply switched her destination to their floor, "Tell him I need him. In our room. I need him right now and I can't wait."

"Of course Miss Stark."

The doors opened too slowly, and she stumbled onto their floor, pulling her clothes off almost frantically before finding some of his and tugging them on snuggly. She slipped under their covers, curled up around his pillow and sniffled a bit. As stupid as wearing his clothes for this was, it helped.

"Toni?" Bruce walked in almost frantically and sat beside her, strong fingers carding through her curls carefully, "Jarvis said you needed me," worried brown eyes roved over her, "what's wrong?"

Her hands caught in his shirt and she pulled him close desperately, burying her face in his chest and listening to his heart beat steadily through the thick fabric of his sweater. He came to help. Bruce was here, all she had to do was ask and he had come for her. Tears fell from her clenched eyes entirely without her permission and she burrowed closer as heavy sobs wracked her body violently. 

Strong hands pulled her even closer, ran over her back soothingly as he pressed his cheek to the top of her head, rocking her protectively, “Toni what happened?” His lips skimmed across her temple, “Whatever it is I’ll fix it baby, I swear I will.”

“I just needed you…” her voice was so small, she burrowed her wet face into the crook of his neck and tried to breathe. “I felt…” she’d never admitted to being depressed before. Not to anyone, this was a big thing. Once she told him she could never go back.  
"You felt?" His hands trailed up her back soothingly, holding her close protecting her.

"Depressed," she pressed her face into his collar, felt his arms tighten around her, "I was depressed, and I just…I needed you here."

Bruce moved the covers and lowered her to the bed gently. He kicked his shoes off impatiently and cocooned the covers around both of them. Toni moved closer, half laying on top of him with her head cradled on his shoulder and his hand rubbing the back of her neck gently. 

“Toni if you ever need me I’ll be here.”

"You haven't been." It slipped out before she could stop it, and she felt like an idiot when his incredulous gaze fell on her.

"What do you mean?"

Strong fingers anchored into his shirt, keeping him there with her. “This past month you've been gone. You've been too busy to see me, or work with me, or even talk to me." Toni met his eyes, "You've barely taken the time to even say goodnight and that only happened when you actually came to bed. I get that you're busy, but I need…something Bruce. I need something. I haven't slept in 5 days. I just…need you to take time to say hi," she wound her fingers around his, "I don't care how you do it. I just need more…time with you."

God she was so clingy. She could feel her heart speed up and she wanted to die. He was probably going to hate the clinginess, or think that she was trying to take up all his science time. 

Soft lips merely pressed a gently kiss to the center of her palm, before moving onto her forehead, “God Toni I’m so sorry,” brown eyes looked down at her adoringly and he brushed her curls from her face tenderly, “I honestly thought you didn’t mind. You never said anything.”

Toni let out a wet laugh and tangled her fingers in his hair, “Its better now.”

“Yeah?” His lips skimmed hers gently, broad hands moved to cup her cheeks carefully.

Her lips pressed against his softly, “Yeah….” She kissed him leisurely, tried to soak as much of him up as she could. She’d missed this so much. Missed having him next to her, missed having him touch her.

Bruce’s lips trailed along her jaw gently, not seeking anything, just there, “If you ever need me just come get me Toni.”

"I didn't want to interrupt your time with Betty," she trailed her fingers through his hair and was shocked when he pulled away abruptly and looked at her with the most resolute expression she had ever seen on his face.

"Screw Betty," her mouth fell open in shock and Toni felt like he deserved a metal for that because absolutely nothing shocked her speechless, "If you need me you get me Toni. I don't care what I'm doing. You," his hands cupped her face almost desperately, "are the most important thing to me. I know firsthand what depression can do to a person."

"I got low. I didn't see an end, so I put a bullet in my mouth... and the other guy spit it out…"

Her hands came to rest over his as she really thought about those words for the first time. Toni let her forehead rest against his and breathed slowly, trying to dispel the idea of living without him.

"I know depression Toni. I know what it does after a while and maybe I can walk away from it but you can't."

"You won't be able to soon."

Silence filled the room for a moment, "What?"

She pressed her face to his shoulder, "You're trying to get rid of the hulk Bruce, and I know what you're working on. You don't understand what that can mean; you're so focused on getting rid of him. What if you get hurt Bruce," her voice was steadily climbing higher and higher into panic, "I'm covered in metal, Steve's a super soldier, Clint stays away from most of the fighting, Natasha is a master assassin, and Thor is a god. Nothing," she clung to him, "nothing is going to happen to us, but you…Bruce you're a scientist." She looked at him almost frantically, "take away hulk and you're vulnerable. What can you do if you get hurt?"

"Toni…"

"No I'm serious," she sat up, "What are you going to do?"

Bruce pulled her close and held her tight, "That's why you want me to keep him? Toni anyone could get hurt at any time."

"But not you." Her voice was barely a whisper, and she felt awful because she told him the choice was his, but she desperately wanted him to keep the hulk around.

He rocked her silently, anchored her until the panic faded away. "I have to come up with…something. I don't," he paused a moment to squeeze her closer, "I don't have to get rid of him fully just…come up with an off switch. Something that I can take that'll wear off if I want to go on a roller coaster or hell something that will keep me from worrying if I just want to make out with you like a teenager."

“Bruce,” she pressed a soft kiss to his jaw, “we’re in our thirties…”

"Doesn't mean I can't act like a teenager."

She smiled warmly, gripped his t-shirt tightly, "We can work on that then. We can work on something…I just…I want to work together. Nothing feels right to me with Betty around. I know you care about her, but I have to watch myself in my own home. We haven't done an experiment since before she got here, hell I don't even really know what's going on with your progress into your cure. I just want in Bruce."

He kissed the top of her head softly, "Then in you are. We haven't gotten anywhere." He smiled easily, "It's hard to work with her now. It's been so long and she's nothing like you. I'm constantly worried I'll make a mistake."  
"Let's go work then, we'll have something put together in no time."

Bruce pulled her down when she tried to get up, "Right now we're going to sleep," he was using his in charge voice, "then when we wake up we'll eat, and if I feel like letting you out of bed we'll start working together."

She helped him pull his shirt off, and ran her fingers over his chest while he pulled his jeans off. "Sounds like a plan."

They settled together curled around each other until sleep took them.


	9. Keep Your Friends Close...

"I'm serious Rhodes, there's something not right about all this." Toni paced back and forth furiously every moving mind lost in a puzzle she wasn't sure she even had all the pieces to.

"Or you're just being paranoid."

Toni glared half-heartedly, "I've already thought of that," she slumped next to her best friend and took a sip of the scotch that had been sitting there patiently while she ranted, she knew Bruce hated it but she needed it right now.

Rhodey shook his head in amusement and sipped his drink, "I will admit that the timing is odd, but she's been here a couple months now Toni, don't you think something would have happened by now?"

"No."

"No?"

"Look," she turned to face him, "if I was either Ross I'd wait a good amount of time, until everyone got comfortable and let their guard down."

"Or," Rhodes took her glass, "you're seeing problems where there aren't any. You have to trust Dr. Banner if this relationship is going to work in any way shape or form."

Toni sighed and sank further into the seat behind her, it wasn't a matter of trusting Bruce; it was Ross. There was just something off about the woman. Jarvis had caught her trying to get into restricted areas more than once and her excuse was always that she lost her way. Everyone was starting to eat it up, but not Toni. She wouldn't trust Ross any more than she'd trust her asshole father.

"Why don't you just fire her?"

"Because then I'd never find out what her plan is," Toni didn't even bother with dramatics or cockiness around Rhodes, he'd known her long enough to see right through it so she figured she wouldn't waste her energy trying. "There's something off Rhodes. I feel like I have the pieces but I can't make sense of them."

"Look I think you're being crazy," he shrugged casually, "but if it'll help ease your paranoid ass, I'll look into the General. There's a couple of higher-ups that owe me a few under the table favors, I'll see what I can do."

"Thanks Rhodes," Toni let a tired smile crawl across her face.

Toni stood slowly, cracking her back before activating her suit, the cool metal slid over her skin smoothly and she was quite proud that the new prototype was working out so well. Bruce would have an aneurysm if he knew she had taken it out, but she'd been dying to test it for real, and he'd gone to a science convention meeting thing for the past two days….with Ross. So in a fit of what definitely wasn't jealousy Toni had taken her new suit for a test run to Rhodey's.

"I'll see you later Rhode."

"Hopefully for better reasons next time Toni."

She laughed, saluting him sarcastically before taking off. There was something exhilarating about flying like this, about doing things that weren't even supposed to be possible for humans. If she was being honest with herself she enjoyed aimlessly flying because then she was truly free. No media, no SHEILD, no company, no expectations, just Toni. She was glad she wasn't honest with herself most of the time, because if she was….well….she'd had enough breakdowns to last a couple lifetimes.

"Miss. Stark, I'm picking up a call from Dr. Banner, would you like me to answer it?

"Yeah go ahead Jarvis," she weaved in and out of buildings effortlessly loving the feel of her new suit, "can't be a bad thing can it?"

"One can always hope Ma'am."

"Toni?" Bruce's voice filled the helmet, a wide smile etched itself into her face, she knew a few minutes of him and her cheeks would burn from smiling so widely, but it was nice.

"What's up Big Green?"

"I just got back, and noticed that a certain curly haired scientist was missing from her lab, Clint said you've been out all day," she could hear the unspoken concern in his voice. Ever since the...depression incident he'd been a little more protective than she was used to, but she dealt with it, she knew he wasn't being controlling, just caring.

"I'm headed back now, I've been with Rhodes," she narrowly avoided crashing into the side of a car, and decided that paying attention to the sky and not the picture of Bruce on the side of the screen was a really good idea. She half listened to Bruce talk about the small conference he'd been to. 

It had taken weeks for Toni to convince him to go, it was on radiation and she'd seen him glancing at the invitation longingly a few times before demanding that he man up and strutk. She knew he didn't have much faith in his anger management, but Toni knew he'd never hurt anyone, and she'd poked and prodded about it until he gave in and left in a fit of frustration, turning slightly green around the collar.

Stark tower was right ahead, and with a few unnecessary twists and turns Toni landed on the top of the tower easily, suit melting off and compacting into a small box at her feet, she tapped her head piece gently, "Sorry to cut you off mid nerd Bruce, but I'm back, so why don't I meet you in our room," she walked inside the building, throwing the box carelessly onto a small couch in the upper floor lounge, "and you tell me all about it in person ?"

"Sounds fine to me Toni, let me just finish some paperwork up with Betty and I'll be right there."

Toni's stomach twisted but she kept her voice steady, "Alright, see you soon," the line ended and she stared at the floor pensively. She didn't remember Bruce having anything to work on with Betty recently, especially since she, in typical Toni fashion, had hacked into their files to find out what they'd been working on. Only to find that Bruce hadn't even been around Ross for the past few weeks.

She took the elevator down to their floor and kicked off her shoes lazily when she entered their space, smirking at the mental image of Bruce's exasperated face every time he found her shoes and clothes strewn around their space. For a guy who hated confrontation, he sure was picky about the smallest things. She pulled her t-shirt off, throwing it in some unknown corner, and kicking her pants off behind the couch where they would undoubtedly stay for a week or so until Bruce decided to clean again.  
She walked to their room in her lacy black bra and green thong. Toni had many issues, but she'd never had any problems with her body. She sauntered around for a few moments half hoping Bruce would come in and find her like this. There was something exhilarating about an aroused Bruce, they'd made….progress on the intimacy issue, and Toni had always loved testing limits. She rummaged through her closet looking for something clean and non-confining to wear. T-shirts and jeans were great, but not for lounging about with your boyfriend, and an oversized button up was too casual and not enough coverage. She didn't want to give spangles a heart attack...again.

She nearly jumped out of her skin when warm arms wrapped around her waist firmly pulling her back to a solid chest. A face burrowed in her hair gently, and she relaxed instantly.

"I think I like coming back to this," the pads of his fingers rassped up her ribs gently, touching her without really touching. She held her breath, chest rising rapidly at the feel of those fingers on her skin, knowing they would roam without really going anywhere.

"Do you?"

"Mmmm…" strong hands cupped her hips gently and pulled her closer against him, "I missed you." A soft kiss made its way to her bare shoulder.

Toni turned easily, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling herself up to tip toes to brush her lips against his, "You were gone two days."

"I know," Bruce kissed her gently, and Toni decided that this was better than flying, better than freedom. His warm hands ghosted up her sides brushing along the sides of her breasts as he kissed her deeper. Teeth and tongue tracing a path across her lips until she was pressed so tightly against him that she wasn't sure where she ended and he began.

beep….beep….beep

She laughed low in her throat when his hands gripped right under her thighs and hoisted her up until they were face to face, her legs wrapped around him tightly as he held her securely. Bruce trailed soft kisses along her collar, rubbing his cheek against her skin every now and then.

beep..beep..beep

Toni scraped her fingers across his scalp gently, whimpering when his moan vibrated across her skin deliciously, she ground against him on reflex, and could practically feel him inside her he was so hard. If this is what happened after two days apart she was going to make him leave for a week. He ground back against her carefully, setting a smooth rhythm between them as she arched against him blissfully. Bruce worshiped her neck and collar with his lips, living stinging bites and open mouthed kisses along her skin.

She looked down, eyes glazed over, wet and trembling with want. She loved watching him when his control broke, loved that it was only for her. He looked up, and a dangerous rim of green was forming around his eyes. He ground his erection against her again and she gripped his hair roughly, tilting his head up for a violent kiss. Teeth clashed, and tongues battled as Bruce's control slipped farther and farther down the drain. His mouth traveled lower, finding the edge of her bra and moving along the curve of her breast. She was wound so tightly, that she could only give him encouraging moans. Her lower body ached wonderfully, as everything wound tighter and tighter.

.beep.

Toni was on the ground suddenly, knees too weak to support her, and she crashed to the floor bonelessly, panting quietly as her head tried to clear itself.

"I'm sorry," his voice was deeper, and Toni realized that they'd crossed into forbidden territory yet again, she pulled on an oversized t-shirt quickly, but stayed where she was just looking up at him.

His hands were clenched to fists and every muscle in his body was straining violently. There it was, that wall they kept running into. Maybe it would be better if she actually knew what set it off, but there were days and times when she could practically give him a hand job and other days when kissing him too long could pull the trigger.

"Bruce its fine," She got up shakily and walked over to him slowly, wrapping her arms around his waist and burying her face in his strong chest. Letting his warmth enfold her. His running heart beat thumped erratically against her ear, and she listened, entranced as it slowly calmed down and strong arms once again wrapped around her.

"This isn't fair to you Toni," his arms didn't move though, and he placed a gentle kiss on the top of her head, pulling her into his lap as he sat on the edge of the bead wearily, "I'm alright now."

Toni smiled, lifting her head to face him as she ran her fingers through his greying curls gently, "You're always alright Brucey."

He grasped her hand gently and kissed her palm almost reverently, "I love you."

Toni nodded a bit, "you too," she felt like shit for not actually saying the words after all that, but he knew what she meant, and she just couldn't throw the words out as easily as he could.

He nuzzled closer to her and she sighed contently keeping her arms securely around him as if she could hold him together. She knew that a hug wouldn't fix anything, wouldn't mend or erase any of the fucked up shit that had happened in their lives.

"Ma'am Director Fury is waiting for you in the lobby, if you would please attend to him? I have told him you are occupied but he didn't seem to care for what I said." Jarvis' voice cut through the room, and Toni glared at the ceiling in irritation.

"Seriously? Why did I build you?" Toni moved away from Bruce reluctantly, pinching the bridge of her nose as she walked toward the door. She really needed to Fury proof the tower.

"Toni you aren't wearing any pants…" Bruce's voice was one part exasperation two parts amusement as he watched her walk into the elevator clad in only his t-shirt.

"And?" The doors shut on a laughing Bruce, and Toni couldn't help but chuckle herself. She ran her fingers through her hair errantly, and let her back meet the wall gently. She wasn't entirely sure if she was supporting Bruce, or if he was supporting her anymore. They seemed to go around in circles, one moment she needed him, the next he needed her. Though she did know that Fury was a pain in the ass, and a visit from him never bode well for her. If it was another argument about giving SHEILD access to the blueprints for her suit then Toni was seriously going to lose her shit.

She strode out of the elevator confidently and flashed Fury her cockiest grin, he raised an eyebrow at her with what Toni would call an amused air and crossed his arms impatiently.

"I did not come here to see you running around half dressed Stark."

Toni laughed, "You know how many people would pay to see me half dressed cyclops? So what's it now? Evil aliens, mad cow disease, the plague?"

Fury looked at her silently for a few moments, "It's about Dr. Ross."

Toni could feel her blood turn to ice in her veins and she stared at Fury silently for a few moments, "What about her?" Her voice was grim, she crossed her arms as a serious frown invaded her face.

"I have some information you might want Stark, not on the Dr. herself, but on her father." He walked toward Toni slowly and held out a small package, "This disk contains some things you might want to know about. You're annoying as hell, whiney, destructive, and a general pain in the ass Stark, but you've got a good thing," He looked at her for a few seconds and for some reason Toni felt like she had passed a test she hadn't known she was taking part of, "and I know you wouldn't let anything fuck with that good thing. Keep your friends close Stark," he placed the package in her hand purposefully, "but your enemies closer."

Toni stared at the tiny package as Fury's footsteps faded to nothing. She tore it open silently, and pulled out a small, innocent thumb drive. The package fell to the ground, ignored on the gleaming tile as she rolled the small piece of technology around in her hand pensively. She had a feeling that whatever was on here was going to be bad, couldn't help but feel like she had to see the damn thing anyway.

"Jarvis…"

"Miss. Stark?" The robotic voice calmed her a bit, she was in control here; this was her kingdom.

"Is Bruce still in our room?"

"Yes miss stark."

"Good," Toni nodded before closing her fist around the small drive, "tell him something popped up, "She walked back to the elevator and pushed the button for her old floor.

"As you wish Miss. Stark."

The elevator rose slowly, before stopping off on her abandoned floor. The place was still strewn with old blueprints and broken prototypes. She walked among it with an air of familiarity, this place had been her refuge, and she hated to bring Fury and General Ross' shit into it, but it was blasphemous to bring it to the room she shared with Bruce. There were very few things sacred left in the world to Toni, but her space with Bruce was one of them.

Toni booted up an old computer silently, before sliding the disk into place. She mentally prepared herself for something to try and break into her system, but instead an innocent little folder popped up silently. She opened it, and began to watch the videos inside it silently.


End file.
